A couple of weeks ago, we made a video about a concept I call weapons versus wounds.

A lot of relationships end not because someone couldn't handle our wounds,

but because they couldn't deal with our weapons.

Well, I was just on a member's call with my Love Life Members Club,

and one of my members asked me a question that specifically pertained to the content in this video.

Hi Matt, I loved your video on weapons we used to protect ourselves.

Unfortunately, my favourite weapon is passive, aggressive behaviour.

I'm not proud of this and I want to learn how to communicate my vulnerabilities

without feeling scared that the other person will abuse that.

What would your advice be around communicating vulnerability while still protecting myself somewhat?

I want to show you a little bit of my answer to this question that I gave live on my Love Life Members

call, and stay till the end because I have something very special to give you before you leave this video.

The first step, Jessica, is to understand that this isn't working for you.

Look at the pattern of your passive aggression and look at where it hasn't been working.

What does it typically lead to?

It leads to an escalation in the argument, an escalation in the argument leads to even worse things being said.

We now both say things we regret.

We've now both end up in tears.

We both end up hating each other, angry two days of silent treatment.

And then look at the pattern of what brings you back together.

I bet you the pattern of what brings you back together is a moment where one of you

makes some kind of a, it brings a different tone.

...