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The Bert Show

Vault: You'll Never Guess Why This Listener Is Mad At Us

The Bert Show

The Bert Show

News, Comedy, Entertainment News, Society & Culture

4.14.4K Ratings

🗓️ 10 March 2026

⏱️ 12 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Vault: You'll Never Guess Why This Listener Is Mad At Us

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

The Bert Show.

0:01.4

So yesterday, do you remember we had virtual listener on dating this guy for like five years, but only had relations with him like ten times? Right. He was in the military and they didn't live in the same town together, but they've been seen each other for five years over the six-ended period of time, but only saw each other but what? Maybe twice a year. Something like that. And each time they would get together and be intimate together. She would tell him, oh, baby, you are the best.

0:23.5

Oh, my God, you are the best.

0:23.5

Oh, my God, it is so awesome.

0:25.5

You like totally make me crazy, you know?

0:29.2

And then she called us and confessed that she has never reached the big O with him.

0:33.2

But she's been telling him all this time how hot he is and how much he turns her on and how she's just like

0:38.6

over the top for him how Jen's getting into this she is man I don't remember she just rolled

0:44.0

up it's not 48 yeah I don't remember her saying all that but that's cool we finally found a topic

0:49.6

Jen's passionate about it can't achieve more excitement there than our listener has in five years

0:53.7

no joke So other women were calling in saying they had the same problem. On sex. Hey! Well, it's not my fault. We talked to Brian first. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. That's a cat of the mood. But we all told him he was good, didn't we?

1:11.1

Didn't we all say, like, hey, good job, Brian.

1:13.2

Way to get it done.

1:14.3

Melissa, another lie today for me. That's like five. Yes. Yes, I know. So other women were calling in yesterday saying, yeah, same problem with my man. I've been faking it. And I got to, as a sidebar, if you've been faking it, it's your problem.

1:25.4

Now the problem is yours, because he might have been bad in the beginning.

1:28.1

You should have told him that or somehow figured it out.

1:30.4

If you've been faking it, it's your problem. Now the problem is yours because he might have been bad in the beginning. You should have told him that or somehow figured it out. If you've been faking in all these years, if he's still giving you the same thing now as he was back then, that's your fault. Yeah. I agree. There's a responsibility on you. If you're not being honest with your partner, then it's your fault. And our advice yesterday was to say that she was getting older and her body was changing, so her preferences were changing to get him to, you know,

1:46.2

coach him along the way.

1:47.1

How many guys in alada heard that

1:48.6

yesterday i wish there was some kind of count all of them a lot of them honey i'm all older these

1:53.8

days my body's changing body's changing you just had your 23rd birthday two weeks ago

1:57.9

i'm a different person i I'm not 18 anymore.

...

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