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The Bert Show

Vault: What are their "in studio" resolutions?

The Bert Show

The Bert Show

News, Comedy, Entertainment News, Society & Culture

4.14.4K Ratings

🗓️ 4 June 2026

⏱️ 9 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Vault: What are their "in studio" resolutions?

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

The Bird Show.

0:01.0

So what do they say, like New Year's resolutions on average last, what, three weeks?

0:06.0

Oh, not even.

0:07.0

Two days.

0:08.0

Yeah, I think it's like two or three days, usually, and people break them.

0:11.0

So you guys are all stoked to be in the gym, so you go on over to crunch or whatever,

0:15.0

and you get your membership, you put your money down, and then you go and you work out Monday,

0:19.0

and you're busting your ass and I mean the

0:20.9

place is full every piece of equipment has people on it then by Thursday the gym is yours

0:26.9

there's a little plaza near our house and there's a couple things in there among them

0:32.7

a Chinese Thai restaurant that Jessica and I love and a yoga studio so I was was on my way over there the other night. You guys want to guess where I was going? I'm guessing you weren't going to the hot yoga class. No, but I was. So I was on my way over there the other night to pick up some takeaway dinner. And the parking lot was jammed. Like, jam. never seen it like that and the only thing i could

0:56.3

and there's never anyone in this little chinese food restaurant ever and i'm like they must have

1:01.3

be having like their you know part like eat for free free fried rice or something like what and i go in and

1:07.0

it's still deserted i couldn't figure it out and then my walking with, you know, you know you've ordered too much Chinese food

1:14.7

when the two of you get four sets of chopsticks.

1:16.8

But I'm walking out with my big plastic bags of Chinese food.

1:19.9

And I get run over by 30 people all with their mats five minutes late for class.

1:26.1

Packed.

1:26.6

Like that must have been, people must have been farting

1:29.0

right on other people's heads in that yoga studio go back in two days and it won't be like that

1:33.1

like walk in front of the forum today or the la fitness over a tower place take a picture and a place

1:38.6

will be packed and then in a couple of days it's going to look totally different like a before and after

...

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