Vault: Tracey's Band Boy
The Bert Show
The Bert Show
4.1 • 4.4K Ratings
🗓️ 28 October 2025
⏱️ 8 minutes
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Listen, it's The Bird Show. |
| 0:02.1 | You know how when you're dating you look for Mr. or Mrs. Wright? |
| 0:05.7 | Everybody has characteristics that you're looking for in somebody else. |
| 0:09.0 | Well, our intern Tracy, is attracted to one type of guy and one type of guy only. |
| 0:13.1 | You have to be in a band. |
| 0:15.9 | Tracy, the intern. |
| 0:17.7 | Yep. |
| 0:18.9 | Yesterday told us that she has been watching a guy for about three and a half years. I'm not stalking him. Not stalking, but just from afar. Yeah, I've known him for three and a half years. I went out with his roommate like twice, and then I developed this huge crush on him. But he's always had a girlfriend. So we're not going to mention any names. He doesn't anymore, but just in case. Can you tell us what band he's in? Well, that would give it away, wouldn't? Yeah, that would probably |
| 0:40.4 | give it away, too, but he is in a band. Of course he is. Oh, really? There was a chance he dated somebody who's not in a band? Most of the guys I have dated seriously weren't in bands. It's just the ones Well, they were roadies, and you were just hoping to get into a dressing room. |
| 0:53.0 | Okay. |
| 0:53.5 | Tracy will not look at a guy unless he has a guitar in his hand. |
| 0:56.5 | Drumsticks? |
| 0:57.1 | Drumsticks, whatever. |
| 0:58.0 | That'll be it. they were roadies and you were just hoping to get into a dressing room okay Tracy will look at a guy unless he has a guitar in his hand drumsticks drumsticks whatever that'll work too but it but if you carry um speakers for a big enough band she'll look at you too so for three years you've been watching this guy you're thinking oh he's so hot he's so cute I mean I didn't see him all the time like I would see him him every couple of months and then hope that, you know, a couple of months had passed and they had broken up, but they never had. So I saw him Tuesday night. I hung out with him because he played. So I went down there and I was supposed to hang out with him last night. But instead of having a story, I need advice. Okay. It was supposed to be a big deal yesterday because she came in here and she said how excited she was. |
| 1:30.9 | Yeah. |
| 1:31.1 | This is like the... last night, but instead of having a story, I need advice. Okay, it was supposed to be a big deal yesterday because she came in here and she said how excited |
| 1:30.3 | she was. Yeah. This is like the Super Bowl of dating for her. Yeah. She's been waiting for this guy for three and a half years. And it was finally going to happen. And I couldn't wait to hear about the date. This is it. It was going to be huge. last night was supposed to be at 8 o'clock and it never even happening. |
| 1:43.4 | Well, here's what happened, okay? |
| 1:44.9 | It all comes down to a sports analogy for a guy. |
| 1:46.7 | I know it. I love it. huge. Kick off last night. It was supposed to be at 8 o'clock and it never even happening. Well, here's what happened. |
| 1:44.5 | Okay. |
| 1:44.9 | It all comes down to a sports analogy for a guy. |
... |
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