Vault: She has to do stand up comedy
The Bert Show
The Bert Show
4.1 • 4.4K Ratings
🗓️ 2 July 2026
⏱️ 9 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Get it. The Birch Show. |
| 0:01.9 | Hey, Lisa, you know, we don't have $1,000 for you, but we do have another, we do have another gift. |
| 0:07.9 | And that gift, in that, yeah, her name, her name is Joanna. |
| 0:11.9 | Hi. |
| 0:12.5 | Because Joanna said that, you know, when she got engaged, she said that she would like to take advantage of the |
| 0:22.0 | VIP access that being a member of the bird show gives you. And she would like to stroll |
| 0:27.8 | into Feilene's basement hours before anyone else to select her perfect wedding gown at an incredibly |
| 0:33.1 | cheap, you know, inexpensive price. Like a $9,000 wedding gown you could have for five, six hundred bucks. Correct. You know, there's discounts are up to 95 percent. A designer dresses. And I, you know, I said this the other day. I'm pretty sure that I heard Jason in the background saying, who are you calling as he was proposing because she was trying to get a hold of one of us to see how she can make that |
| 0:54.2 | happen. |
| 1:12.9 | So we said, you know what, because we're a loving bunch and we're a family. Right. We take care of each other. We said, Joanna, we love you. Very dysfunctional family. We will help you. We will help you get into Filene's early. No problem. But we each get to pick one thing for you to do every day this week. and if you accomplish those tasks, then you're in. |
| 1:27.8 | I'm mad at myself for not realizing that that was going to happen. That when I asked you if I could, that there wasn't going to be some kind of repercussion. And you've been with us? How long? I know. I know. I'm still learning. I'm still new. Right. And I'm just, |
| 1:44.6 | I'm just catching up this week because it's my first day in this week and feeling better. What did you have to do the first couple days? So yesterday I had to post a picture of myself within the first 60 seconds of waking up in the morning before. Which is really, really funny. It's a great picture. I'm sorry. I thought I was in a gang. |
| 1:45.9 | You look mad. |
| 1:44.6 | You look mad like you was in a gang. |
| 2:01.4 | You look mad. You look mad like you're in a gang, like, yo, what's up? Don't mess with me. We all looked mad when we woke up and found the camera sitting at our nightstand and remembered why we were taking it. Yeah, that was a while ago for us. But they're still in the Google Hemisphere, so. Shh. Don't remind people of that window. |
| 2:04.0 | Melissa reminded everybody the other day. |
| 2:00.8 | Blame me why in end of the |
| 2:05.3 | best this whatever so on Monday we told Joanna that she had to take that picture on |
| 2:09.3 | Tuesday she did it and she came in and it's it's as good looking as that picture can be |
| 2:15.0 | right and we're only asking her to do things that we've done ourselves so So we're not asking her to do anything that we haven't done. And I think that, you know, a caller who still thinks on Wednesday that it is not daylight savings time, I think it's hilarious. It's a great opening act for what you have to do today. That's true. Three minutes of original comedy, which is something that I had to do. I lost to bet and had to do that. |
| 2:36.1 | So today is your day to shine as a comedian on stage. |
| 2:39.1 | And mind you, I had to go straight to my other job after work yesterday. |
... |
Transcript will be available on the free plan in 20 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from The Bert Show, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of The Bert Show and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.

