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The Bert Show

Vault: Melissa tells Bert about freezing her eggs

The Bert Show

The Bert Show

Comedy, Entertainment News, Society & Culture, News

4.14.4K Ratings

🗓️ 3 July 2026

⏱️ 4 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Vault: Melissa tells Bert about freezing her eggs

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

The Bird Show. Melissa, you have to tell Bert what you're doing. I know. I can tell Dr. Oz what you're doing. I know. We talked a little bit about it on Saturday. But I, for those who have not heard yet, Katie and I are freezing my eggs. And I say freezing my eggs are actually freezing embryos this week. You really are going to have to speak to me as though I am a sixth grader when it comes to any of this because we

0:21.8

had this conversation right on Saturday night and I got to be honest with you yeah outside of

0:27.3

how do I put this lightly what to touch I really don't know a lot about female anatomy

0:36.3

women's bodies work in this way.

0:38.4

Right.

0:39.0

All right.

0:39.7

Well, every month, women produce a natural hormone that causes one ovary to make an egg because I also learned through this process.

0:48.4

The eggs were not already created, which I thought.

0:50.3

So even women, even women don't know their own bodies.

0:53.2

But it's a natural hormone that

0:54.9

one ovary creates an egg and then pops it out and you have your cycle or you get pregnant.

0:59.7

So what I'm doing is for the past six weeks, they have slowly built up my hormone level of that

1:05.0

natural hormone and others that has allowed both ovaries to decide to make multiple eggs.

1:10.2

So then what's going to happen this week

1:12.9

is they are going to go and retrieve those eggs. They're going to mix them with the sperm that we have

1:18.0

received from the donor, and then they're going to see which ones start splitting, as in

1:22.8

would start growing. Then they're going to put them in the freezer and stop the process.

1:27.3

And all this is happening like a little petri dish. Yes. The fascinating thing is it is, it's very sci-fi, which of course I love. But it's like this, it's a scientist in a lab that is going to put the two together and look and see and then put them in the freezer. Awesome. So I was teasing with them today because I have really not felt very many effects of the hormones.

1:46.3

One hormone did make me cry, but I'm not on that as much as I was.

1:49.8

So I'm not in a crying mood or emotional mood anymore.

1:53.2

But the fact that both ovaries are producing a lot of eggs, you know, they're growing.

2:00.0

My ovaries are bigger than normal.

...

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