The Bird Show.

So I got to tell you guys quickly about my Saturday night before I play 40 seconds of either the funniest audio you'll ever hear or the most repulsive audio you will ever hear.

And here's how I start this out.

All right.

I told you guys my best friend John was coming in over the weekend

for my son Hayden's dedication to the church. Okay, he's been my best friend. I truly consider

this guy my brother. He is family. So John and I went to college together also. We went to

elementary school, high school. We were college roommates also. The thing that drove me crazy

more than anything else about John is he has got about the

worst snoring problem of anybody I had ever heard. That sucks. It was awful. I mean, for three

years there, I couldn't sleep. I was constantly kicking him because our room, our dorm room was so

small that his head was practically up to where mine was.

And he was snoring so loud, I'd have to, I'd wake up in the middle of the night, I'd kick him, I'd try to turn him over, anything I could to get him to shut up. That is so annoying. So annoying. There's nothing worse than waking up to somebody else snoring, because you're furious that they are getting great sleep. Yep. Right. Whenever I have, if I even, Jessica can always tell when I'm getting sick before I get sick because I snore and she gets mad at me for that. I'm like, you can't get mad at me. I'm asleep. She's like, that's why I'm mad. Exactly. Because you're sound asleep and there's a truck driving through our room and you don't know it. And I'm like, I'm sick.

Ah, of course.

So I forgot how bad the snoring problem was until Saturday night where Johnny and I and my family go out to Vision on Saturday night.

We get our drink on pretty good.

And we get home, I guess, about four in the morning and we're raiding the refrigerator and everything. And we finally, we turn on SportsCenter, ESPN, about 3.34 in the morning. And we both

sit on the couch, all right? And this is so routine. You know, you come home drunk,

you eat, and then you crash on the couch until something so loud wakes you up on television.

Then you go up to your room, right? So I doze off before John does, and I am awakened by a, like you said, a thundering train running through my house.

The Polar Express is in your living room.

It felt like I was going to get phone calls from all the neighbors because the sound was so

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