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Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

Good morning. This is Laura.

Welcome to the Before Breakfast Podcast.

Today's tip is about how to use something called shadow values in your favor.

When you understand people's deep and often hidden motivations,

you can reach good outcomes in situations that might otherwise be fraught.

This tip comes from Dr. Jennifer Goldman Wetler's new book,

optimal outcomes, free yourself from conflict at work, at home, and in life.

In this book, Goldman Wetler explains that shadow values are those things we care about in life,

but that are hard to admit, even to ourselves.

She shows us how shadow values get and keep a stuck in conflict and how we can use them to break free.

For instance, many people desire recognition, whether for contributions they make at work,

at home, or in the community.

But most of us have also learned from a very young age that asking for recognition directly

isn't socially acceptable.

So we are not going to stand up and announce to our colleagues or

...