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Girls Gotta Eat

Unpacking Fawning, the Misunderstood Trauma Response with Dr. Ingrid Clayton

Girls Gotta Eat

Ashley Hesseltine

Relationships, Society & Culture, Dating, Comedy, Sex, 977170

4.629.2K Ratings

🗓️ 15 September 2025

⏱️ 85 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

We’ve all heard of fight, flight, and freeze, but what about the fourth F of trauma responses? It’s called fawning and we have Dr. Ingrid Clayon join us to discuss what it looks like (leaning in even when you’re uncomfortable, needing to please), why we fawn in childhood, relationships, the workplace, etc., and how to break these patterns. We discuss how fawning compares and contrasts to people pleasing, and how fawners have trouble finding healthy relationships, saying no, recognizing their own anxiety, and being honest in therapy. And Ingrid offers advice for getting curious about the trauma responses that could be holding you back, recognizing and not sabotaging healthy partners, and speaking up when you don’t like something. Before Ingrid joins us, we have a SHOW ANNOUNCEMENT, Ashley gives a family/health update, and Rayna is making new friends. Enjoy! 

Follow Ingrid on Instagram at @ingridclaytonphd and get her book Fawning.

Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more.

Thank you to our partners this week:

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

So basically, you know, we're talking about fawning as a trauma response.

0:03.2

And what most of us have known for a long time is fight, flight, and freeze.

0:24.3

This podcast is a Dear Media production.

0:25.6

Hi guys. Hi guys.

0:26.4

Welcome back to another episode of Girls Got to eat.

0:28.4

Welcome back.

0:29.6

Big day.

0:30.3

Big day.

0:30.9

We have a big announcement on the way.

0:32.8

You know what today?

0:33.8

915.

0:34.9

Wait, let me guess.

0:36.0

I don't know.

0:36.3

It's a birthday.

0:37.2

It's a birthday in your life? Yes. Stop. I don't know. I don't know it's a birthday it's a birthday in your life yes

0:39.0

stop I don't know well I don't know if you know this one but my sister-in-law she's turning 30

0:44.0

oh she is a grown-off now she's so grown up mother of two oh happy birthday staff

0:48.9

a 30th you got to you love to see it I will never forget her being like 25 in the house her

0:56.6

her and your brother owned she's cooking us dinner and I'm like she's so much more grown than me yeah

1:01.4

and I survived my filler I went without you yesterday and I don't like not being on the same schedule

1:07.3

for this and I went without you and I got a little temple filler with Dr. Barrett and I love it. But I went without yesterday and I was sad, but we'll go back at the end of the month. Oh, we are going to go back at the end of the month together. I haven't gotten my, like my full before my wedding and my special Daxify refresh. So we're booked for the 29th, so I hope you can make it. 3 p. It's been on my thing for a while.

1:30.2

Okay, well, I booked you in.

...

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