Hello and welcome.

Hello and welcome, citation needed.

The podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia

and pretend we're experts, because this is the internet, and that's how it works now.

I'm Eli Bosnick and all be summoning up the spirits tonight, but I'll need the help of some

deathly pale specters.

First up, two men who are basically ghosts, because they're old, Cecil and Noah.

That and I don't answer your texts.

So, yeah.

Yeah, they keep promising me my hearing's going to go.

And also joining us tonight, two guys who you could have fucked, but then they got married,

which is a lot like being dead.

Heath and Tom.

Jesus is right.

You can fuck my corpse?

I don't know.

You heard it here first.

Why do I feel so sore and unlobed all the time if I'm not getting fucked? That's a great question. Big question. Before we begin tonight. I think we're old too, man. I'd like to take... Before we begin tonight, I'd like to take a moment to thank our patrons. Patrons, without you, I'll kill myself. Jesus Christ.

I don't know what that number is, but maybe you're the one who deletes their pledge,

and then I will haunt you forever.

Never stop giving us money.

Never, ever.

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