And he said, well I think, I said, don't tell me what you think, tell me what you feel.

He couldn't.

He couldn't say a word.

And so I started through a list of feelings, do you feel this?

Do you feel this?

And he could think a minute and say yes and say no and his wife all of a sudden stopped crying. She said you mean he has emotions?

And he just didn't have the language for emotions.

That was the late Dr. David Stoop and we'll hear more from him and his wife Dr. Jan

student today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly.

I'm John Fuller and you're going to learn how to put

language to your emotions. That's right and we're going to be sharing some

ideas that may be pretty groundbreaking for many couples. We're going to hear about emotional intelligence in

marriage and this term is usually used in the business world but the couple

we're talking to today has found that these concepts can greatly increase

intimacy and improve communication in your marriage. Before we recorded this

interview, John and I took a quiz, the Smart love inventory that our guests created to see how we scored in our

own emotional intelligence the highest score possible was 120 John what was your

score I can't remember I think it was like 86 although I

I sometimes feel like I'm about a 50 maybe that's kind of sad I shouldn't have

outed you I'm somewhere in the 90s I guess.

So we both have a room for growth.

There you go. That's a good way to look at it.

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