Understanding Sexual Shame

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Sexuality, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement, Education

4.4 • 978 Ratings

🗓️ 18 November 2025

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Many of us carry sexual shame that began long before adulthood. The tone of our childhood homes, the way our parents handled emotion and mistakes, and the silence or anxiety surrounding the body all shaped how acceptable our desires—and our imperfections—felt to us. Those early messages often linger, coloring how we see ourselves and even how we imagine God sees us. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Chris Rich of The Mixed-Faith Relationship Podcast to unpack where sexual shame comes from and how it shows up in adulthood. She explains how shame turns toxic when it convinces us that our flaws make us unworthy, and she offers a clearer, kinder way forward—one that helps us accept our embodied nature, integrate our sexuality, and relate to ourselves with more honesty and compassion. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: What sexual shame actually is—and how it develops How childhood experiences shape comfort with desire Why many of us confuse anxiety with “God’s judgment” The difference between healthy inhibition and toxic shame How both repression and indulgence keep us stuck What genuine sexual integration looks like How to foster healthier, shame-free conversations with our children JOIN OUR MAILING LIST HERE and you'll get the link to join us for an online screening of "The Mormon Sex Therapist" on Thursday!

Transcript

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0:00.0	one of the challenging things is to figure out what is my responsibility, what is not my
0:05.3	responsibility, and to learn how to forgive ourselves and to move forward better, to move forward
0:13.0	wisely. That's like a developmental capacity that the better we learn it, the more able we are
0:19.5	to be in intimate relationships.
0:29.8	Welcome to Conversations with Dr. Jennifer, a collection of interviews on the topics of
0:35.2	relationships, sexuality, spirituality, and more,
0:39.0	all featuring Dr. Finlayson Fife.
0:44.8	Hey, everyone, this Thursday at 7 p.m. Mountain Time, we are going to be offering a virtual
0:49.8	screening of a mini documentary that we made about the work that I do, where you hear about my
0:57.1	history and how I came to research and focus on how to help LDS couples have more intimate
1:05.0	relationships. You also get to see me work with couples that went with me on a couple's tour
1:10.7	to Switzerland.
1:12.3	After the 16-minute screening, I will be talking to you a bit about the process of change,
1:18.2	how it is that change happens for couples within ourselves, why it's related to intimacy,
1:25.1	and taking questions from you also about both anything that's in the film
1:29.9	itself or about change.
1:33.0	This screening is exclusively for our newsletter subscribers, so click the link in the show
1:37.8	notes to join our mailing list.
1:39.5	Thanks, everyone.
1:40.5	Hello, my beautiful friends.
1:42.8	I'm so excited to welcome back the amazing Dr. Jennifer Finlayson
1:47.4	Fife to the podcast today. If you are familiar with her work, you already know how powerful
	...

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