Understanding—and Even Changing—Your Attachment Style (Amir Levine, M.D.)
Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen
Lemonada Media
4.8 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 16 April 2026
⏱️ 67 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Psychiatrist Amir Levine, MD, is the coauthor of the mega-bestseller Attached. In his new book, Secure, he takes another look at the four attachment styles and the myths surrounding them to show how each of us—regardless of our starting point—can flex and become more secure in our relationships. In this (delightful) conversation, he also explains why certain seemingly insignificant minor interactions (which he calls SIMIs) have an outsize effect on our brains and our intimate relationships. He offers some advice for turning down the volume on the insecure attachments in your life. And we talk about more psychological phenomena that I think will resonate with many of you—from attachment gaslighting to the protest-regret cycle.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi, it's Elise Luna and host of Pulling the Thread. Today I'm talking to psychiatrist Amir Levine about |
| 0:05.5 | attachment styles. I've written and talked about this before, but I really love when I get to meet |
| 0:11.1 | pulling the thread listeners out in the world. This never gives me an identity crisis. Instead, |
| 0:16.1 | I feel so grateful for how wonderful, cool, wise, smart, and curious you all are. It's wild. So if you're |
| 0:23.3 | listening right now, I feel I can safely assume that you're deeply curious and that you have |
| 0:26.9 | some big questions about our world, our culture, and what part we're meant to play in it all. |
| 0:31.9 | If you also happen to be neurodivergent, I wanted to tell you about another podcast called |
| 0:36.5 | Hyperfocus with Ray Jacobson. |
| 0:39.4 | It gets at the kind of big questions we're interested in, but from an ADHD lens. |
| 0:45.2 | Ray is a mental health journalist who is diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 21. |
| 0:50.1 | On her podcast, she speaks with scientists, doctors, researchers, and other experts. |
| 0:54.7 | In every episode, Ray and her guest dive into studies, headlines, and questions around |
| 0:58.8 | neurodivergence, mental health, and well-being. |
| 1:01.6 | Most recently, it was really interesting to learn from Ray about why there's no gold standard |
| 1:05.8 | for adult ADHD tests. |
| 1:08.7 | But she has covered so many fascinating and critical topics, including the potential |
| 1:12.7 | links between ADHD and chronic pain, the future of special education in our country, |
| 1:18.2 | the language we use in this space, advice from a financial therapist, support for parents, |
| 1:23.0 | and more. To listen to Hyperfocus with Ray Jacobson, search for Hyperfocus with Ray Jacobson in your podcast app. |
| 1:30.2 | That's Hyperfocus with Ray Jacobson. |
| 1:33.8 | If you're looking for another podcast that tackles life's big questions and who isn't looking for this, |
| 1:39.3 | check out the Signal Award winning podcast, No Small Endeavor. No Small Endeavor explores one of life's biggest |
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