Changing Your Attachment Style (Amir Levine, MD)

Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

Lemonada Media

Self-improvement, Education

4.8 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 16 April 2026

⏱️ 66 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Psychiatrist Amir Levine, MD, is the coauthor of the mega-bestseller Attached. In his new book, Secure, he takes another look at the four attachment styles and the myths surrounding them to show how each of us—regardless of our starting point—can flex and become more secure in our relationships. In this (delightful) conversation, he also explains why certain seemingly insignificant minor interactions (which he calls SIMIs) have an outsize effect on our brains and our intimate relationships. He offers some advice for turning down the volume on the insecure attachments in your life. And we talk about more psychological phenomena that I think will resonate with many of you—from attachment gaslighting to the protest-regret cycle. For the show notes, head to my Substack. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Lemonado.
0:05.7	Hi, it's Elise Luna and host of Pulling the Thread.
0:08.8	Today I'm talking to psychiatrist Amir Levine about attachment styles.
0:13.5	I've written and talked about this before, but I really love when I get to meet pulling
0:17.5	the thread listeners out in the world.
0:19.5	This never gives me an identity
0:20.9	crisis. Instead, I feel so grateful for how wonderful, cool, wise, smart, and curious you all are.
0:27.5	It's wild. So if you're listening right now, I feel I can safely assume that you're deeply
0:32.2	curious and that you have some big questions about our world, our culture, and what part
0:36.2	we're meant to play in it all.
0:38.1	If you also happen to be neurodivergent, I wanted to tell you about another podcast called
0:42.7	Hyperfocus with Ray Jacobson. It gets at the kind of big questions we're interested in, but from an
0:49.1	ADHD lens. Ray is a mental health journalist who was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 21. On her
0:56.8	podcast, she speaks with scientists, doctors, researchers, and other experts. In every episode,
1:01.8	Ray and her guests dive into studies, headlines, and questions around neurodivergence,
1:06.0	mental health, and well-being. Most recently, it was really interesting to learn from Ray about
1:10.8	why there's no
1:11.4	gold standard for adult ADHD tests, but she's covered so many fascinating and critical topics,
1:18.0	including the potential links between ADHD and chronic pain, the future of special education
1:23.1	in our country, the language we use in this space, advice from a financial therapist, support
1:28.4	for parents, and more. To listen to Hyperfocus with Ray Jacobson, search for Hyperfocus
1:33.5	with Ray Jacobson in your podcast app. That's Hyperfocus with Ray Jacobson. Hi, it's Elise Lunan, host of Pulling the Thread.
	...

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