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First Date with Lauren Compton

Uncle Lazer's Big Confession | First Date with Lauren Compton

First Date with Lauren Compton

YMH Studios

Sexuality, Comedy, Relationships, Society & Culture, Comedy Interviews, Health & Fitness

4.7900 Ratings

🗓️ 7 October 2025

⏱️ 47 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On this episode of First Date with Lauren Compton, the one and only Uncle Lazer brings wild stories, gel tip confessions, and even cocaine tales with mama. Lauren dives into love, relationships, what turns him on, and whether he’s ready to settle down—plus plenty of laughs from Lazer’s standup journey. And keep an ear out for his signature random facts sprinkled throughout the date. Chaotic, unfiltered, and surprisingly sweet—proof that good conversation is the real win on a first date. 👉 Follow Uncle Lazer: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/uncle_lazer/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@UClovHhKRjGE5_vcwhzFocDw 🎙️ Check out his podcast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXiyRONVcIaEBpkC3mOAkOKNTIpo3vsPf First Date Ep. 120 https://www.tiktok.com/@iamlaurencompton https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:47 - Co-parenting 00:03:28 - Appetizer Questions 00:10:57 - Uncle Lazer's Random Facts 00:13:09 - The Homeless 00:14:22 - Get Tips Baby 00:15:26 - Lazer's Turn Ons 00:17:30 - In Love 00:19:33 - Love An Ol' Lady 00:21:06 - Addicted To Sex 00:23:05 - When Will He Settle? 00:25:03 - Good Conversations Are A Win 00:27:00 - Meeting A Jew 00:29:48 - No Anal 00:30:35 - Cocaine With Mama 00:33:24 - Starting Standup 00:35:40 - Leaving a Witch 00:40:35 - Lauren's Fruit Addiction 00:44:37 - Lazer's Random Fact Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

I'm so excited to see you tonight.

0:05.9

First date, baby.

0:09.9

First date.

0:11.2

I can't wait.

0:14.0

First day.

0:17.9

What is up, you guys?

0:19.3

Thanks for tuning in to another episode of First Date. My guest today hosts a podcast called Drunk Uncle. You can also catch him doing stand-up at punchup. Live forward slash Uncle Laser. Give it up for Uncle Laser. Hey, thanks for having me, Lauren. Thank you for coming on. Yeah, yeah. I think you have more tattoos since the last time I've seen you.

0:38.1

Yeah, I went back to jail for a little bit.

0:39.9

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:40.7

So we're here. You're not like like an eclectic freemason furniture you got in this mother. Thank you. Nice in here, dude. I think it was from Ozzy Osbourne's estate sale. Really? Yeah, with a melted candlehead.

0:52.6

Yeah, you know what I mean?

0:53.8

I love it, dude.

0:54.6

Yeah.

0:56.6

So, what? Really? Yeah, with a melted candlehead. Yeah, you know what I mean? I love it, dude.

0:54.6

Yeah.

1:11.3

So, what are you up to? What am I up to? What are you up to? Who are you dating? Who are you with? I'm a single with the moment. I just got a relationship. How long was it? It was like a year. Well, she moved in at like two months, though. She shouldn't do that.

1:26.5

We'd basically been pen pals. We met her in Buffalo. She came to the show. And then she was moving to Texas anyways. I was like, don't move to Houston. That fucking sucks. Just come see Austin, spend a weekend with me. And then she just, I was like, fuck it, move in. And he shouldn't do it like that. You don't even really shit with the door open two months in.

1:27.1

You know what I'm saying?

1:27.8

So like... But it lasted a year.

1:29.3

Yeah, but it was a strenuous year. And he shouldn't do it like that. You don't even really shit with the door open two months in. You know what I'm saying? So like.

1:27.8

But it lasted a year.

1:29.3

Yeah, but it was a strenuous year. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. But you just like learn shit about people that you shouldn't learn that fast about, you know, moving in. When you move it with someone, you're like, they're in your space and you can't get away from them. What did you learn about yourself?

...

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