Erin Arruda is here today. We met during a conference, and we both liked each other instantly. One of the chapters in my book, that has gotten a lot of feedback from both women and men is the chapter titled Lovers and Leavers. Erin’s story goes well with that chapter. Erin found redemption and happiness, but it wasn’t an easy journey, and it certainly wasn’t easy to talk about.

Erin openly shares her story of life, love, guilt, shame, and redemption on today’s show. She also talks about her book Unadulterated: His Scandalous Grace—Your New Identity and how she found her way back to the lord and happiness. Erin is now happily married with three beautiful daughters. She loves her friends, and holds them close in her heart and home. I hope you enjoy this inspirational conversation with Erin.

Show Notes

• [04:26] Melissa and Erin instantly bonded over books and the desire to tell their stories.
• [05:55] Erin was raised in church with two sisters and a brother. Somehow along the path she started associating church with perfectionism.
• [07:21] She tried to check all the boxes and do everything she was supposed to do.
• [07:41] She got married after college but became an isolated and depressed person.
• [08:28] She fell into every temptation and began to have an affair. She was still engaged with church and her family, but she was hiding another life.
• [09:29] After the affair ended, she just kept going with her life.
• [09:46] Isolation and hiding keeps us from being vulnerable.
• [10:20] She got a new job and worked long hours. She also fell in love with a guy from work.
• [10:53] She felt her marriage was a prison and left her husband and moved in with her sister.
• [12:46] Then she discovered that she was pregnant.
• [15:07] She was in a desperate place. She even considered getting an abortion.
• [16:30] She just got divorced and now she was going to get married again and have a baby.
• [17:05] Mickey asked her parents for their blessing.
• [18:04] Her father welcomed Mickey, and she realized if he could love her that much than how much more could her God in heaven love her.
• [18:17] In that moment everything changed.
• [21:33] She started planning the wedding. Three days later she miscarried. Her entire family showed up to grieve.
• [22:44] They still got married, and that was almost 12 years ago.
• [24:21] It is better in the light.
• [29:07] After you realize you are forgiven, there is another part. It's that our identity really is in the resurrection. The connection of that is what helped Erin to get past the shame she felt after she was forgiven.
• [30:16] Because of Jesus, our sin no longer has power.
• [31:23] Erin's parents didn't know that Erin had another affair or that it had been going on with Mickey for so long.
• [32:02] Erin and MIckey submitted their questions to the lord. They let the word restore them out of brokenness.
• [33:15] There are churches that are okay with imperfection.
• [34:16] Erin and Mickey have three beautiful girls, and they both serve in the church.
• [37:10] Erin gets strength about telling her story when people thank her because she has helped them.
• [40:41] If you knew how much Jesus loved you, you wouldn't feel shame and guilt. Jesus calls you by your name not by what you have done.
• [43:17] Erin does the lightning round...

Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you.

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• Chris Tomlin