I wish I knew how to cook.

Eating is so fun.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because of the food.

And also because, well, it's the only meal that it's all right at the table as soon as you're done, just to go,

oh, that was really good.

Oh, yeah.

Sure, I'll have more pie. Why not?

I'm gonna fall asleep with my mouth open.

Why don't you just jam in my head?

Because I'm not enough of a bloated toad.

My pants aren't tight enough.

It's the only holiday. My mom doesn't go, Sue, get off the floor. She goes, oh, that looks pretty good. I guess I'm coming down there with you. Let's look up your aunt Dot's dress. What a great holiday. We gather the people we love around us to give thanks, and how do we celebrate in this country? What do we do? We jam bread crumbs up a turkey's butt.

Right on. Give me a dead bird and a loaf of bread. You know what I'm saying? Thank you.

Comedian Sue Murphy, happy Thanksgiving. I could tell you that Donna's down in the kitchen right now,

preparing our family's Thanksgiving feast, and for that reason, there is no episode today of Cadillite Jack my second act. But we both know

that that's not the case. Truth is, we wanted to spend Thanksgiving with our family. So this

Saturday at 9-10, right is The Letter Drops. A brand new episode. Some of the conversations

we're going to have include Taylor Swift. She went number one this week on the Billboard chart with the 10-minute version of the song that she wrote about her relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal. It's the longest number one in the history of the music chart now. Prior to Taylor in this week, what song was the longest song that hit number one? Here's the final three seconds of the nine minute and 38 second version of that song.

Taylor clocks in at 10 minutes and 32 seconds.

What 80s pop star lashed out at her audience this past weekend at a concert because they

just wanted to sing as she performed one of her biggest hits.

Oh,

...