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Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Tuesday, 11.18.25

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 18 November 2025

⏱️ 119 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A woman has totally called Lazlo parasocial. What's the most hated NFL team? Lazlo needs 3 inches, hard, and SlimFast prefers 10. SlimFast is super scared of the laundromat lady, so he's now bringing her fruit. You can have your AI pretend to be a child. In Headlines, the guys talk about how the man who shot a cleaning woman was charged with manslaughter, Antonio Brown being arraigned, the pilot who freaked out on mushrooms getting charged, the Excelsior Springs school district getting scammed, and much much more! Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Transcript

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0:00.0

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

0:11.1

Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.

0:17.9

For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children.

0:23.5

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt

0:30.9

to poison and destroy my brothers.

0:34.2

And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon me.

0:41.8

Ladies and gentlemen, the Church of Laslow has begun.

0:47.5

Yo!

0:48.0

My man, how are you?

0:50.1

I'm doing good. How are you?

0:51.4

Great, no problems.

0:52.6

Really no problems today?

0:54.1

Well, everything's fine.

0:55.6

I mean, I had to get picked up for work for my boss, which is nice for that he did that, but we do feel like a little kid sometimes. Like, oh, it's our first day at my new job. My boss is coming to get me. When you get there, we're going to make ice cream. It's going to be great. I'll do all the side work.

1:08.8

He can do the register.

1:09.9

It's like, Jesus, man.

1:11.3

Hi.

1:11.7

Good morning, sir.

1:12.4

A child for God's sake.

1:13.7

I'll get my the side work. He can do the register. It's like, Jesus, man.

1:11.3

Hi. Good morning, sir.

1:12.5

It's a child, for God's sake. Get my backpack out of the way. Did you hear anything about your car? Nothing at all. I guess that's not that surprising. It takes a while, right? I feel like, if you need car work, it usually... I know I called him, and then he was like, in the morning, I called the shop, and he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

...

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