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Therapist Uncensored Podcast

TU70: Challenge Your “Busy” Identity – Gain Consciousness Over Your Pace

Therapist Uncensored Podcast

Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP & Ann Kelley PhD

Social Sciences, Society & Culture, Science, Education, Self-improvement, Relationships

4.71.5K Ratings

🗓️ 19 July 2018

⏱️ 40 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Do you use a to-do list as a way to justify the need to be busy rather then the other way around?  Idleness can breed discomfort and busyness seems to help to fill in the gap. Learn how conscious busyness and idleness can generate cognitive health and happiness, while unconscious busyness just adds to the stress trap. As real therapists, we challenge you to not believe what you think.  Inquire. It’s healthy to question the stories you tell about yourself and the world… update your model.  Check out your story.  See if what you tell yourself is still true, or has ever been true. If it’s right there is no problem in questioning,  but if you are in a mental rut you wouldn’t know it unless you cache the map and look again. In this episode we ask you, has being busy become an identity, a badge of honor, or is it simply a fear of being idle?  Perhaps an antidote to loneliness? A way to be needed?  A VIP?  Are you choosing your schedule or feel as if you are being handed it?  Is that true?  🙂 Dive deep into an exploration of how our relationship to busyness can distance us from ourselves and those around us. Therapist Uncensored co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott discuss how a sense of urgency, a desire for a sense of importance, stress, and discomfort are all interrelated in dealing with idleness in your everyday lives. We’ll talk about how you can keep your mind engaged in moments of idleness and how you can make the most of your resting state by truly being idle or through purposeful activity. 0:00-10:00  Introduction Why do our minds want to be busy? How is being busy a culturally dictated status symbol? Choice and sense of urgency effect Purpose, busyness and stress The psychological discomfort of idleness despite the natural, evolutionary desire to choose it 10:00-20:00  Choosing idleness as a primal need to conserve energy Natural aversion to idleness without purpose The appeal of mindfulness through its intent to bring you something Keeping your brain busy with new skills keeps it healthier in the long run (processing speed, episodic memory) 20:00-30:00Differentiating being full vs. being busy Importance vs. urgency Your brain is always working, even (or especially) in idle times How best to use your resting state 30:00-40:00Learn to be idle rather than occupy your idle time OR move and be active (purposeful l idleness vs. purposeful activity) Boredom and stimulation, meaning and purpose Wrap up and outro   Resources: Being busy may be good for your brain!  Smithsonian Magazine.   The Challenges of the Disengaged Mind  The Busier the Better: Greater Busyness Is Associated with Better Cognition   We appreciate our sponsor TheraNest! Our show is not just for mental health professionals AT ALL, but if you are a mental health professional, you will appreciate our sponsor as well!  Most of us do not want to spend our time on the business aspect of our practice. TheraNest is a practice management software that will help you streamline and manage your entire practice with ease.  They provide HIPPA compliant documentation, full-featured calendar (even with text reminders!), insurance and client billing, credit card processing and live customer service.  Ourlisteners receiving 20% discount on first three months if you sign up with TheraNest.com/Therapistuncensored.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to Therapist Uncensored, a podcast where therapists freely speak their minds about real life matters.

0:09.0

Welcome back, I'm Anne Kelly and I'm Sue Marriott and we are aware that you just

0:18.1

hit play for a specific reason and we really respect your time and that you're interested in

0:25.9

hearing this conversation and so we're gonna try to make this as impactful as

0:29.9

possible. At Therapists Unsensored, we are integrating different strands of science. In particular,

0:36.3

we are interested in attachment and the robust body of research in that whole area and in affect regulation which is interpersonal

0:46.0

neurobiology and polyvago theory and all the cool science of the mind and the

0:50.3

brain and then we ground this all in depth psychology.

0:55.0

All right, now all that sounds a little intimidating,

0:57.0

but we pride herself in doing this in a way that makes it

1:01.0

understandable and really useful in your everyday life.

1:05.0

And if you've noticed, have you been a listener for a while, we move around and we talk about these things in different ways,

1:11.0

but today we're going to do something a little different. So today we want to

1:15.1

engage instead of like sort of the bigger picture we want to kind of dive in just a

1:19.1

little bit and explore our relationship to a particular experience that's probably going to be common to many of you.

1:25.0

The idea of being busy.

1:27.0

Right, and I notice you say the idea of being busy, sometimes we confuse it don't we?

1:33.0

Absolutely thinking about when somebody asks you how you doing what's one of the first

1:38.7

things that come to your mind? Oh man I'm so busy. It's true it's like a hectic crazy but what's the problem with that?

1:45.5

Well you know because when people are approaching you oftentimes what they're

1:48.1

wanting is a connection with you. Right usually when you're asking somebody

1:52.3

how they're doing you're looking for

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