Everyone generalizes from their experience and takes forward what they've learned as a way of behaving.

So when the avoidant child goes into preschool classroom, he doesn't bring his needs to the teacher.

So he won't learn that she would respond.

And in fact, if she comes and does something nurturing anyway, it's ambiguous or unfathomable to him.

What is this? It makes no sense.

I think many kids who show behavior problems in early childhood and get punished.

They're doing so not because punishment is rewarding, but because this is understandable to them.

The world is coherent in its messed up way.

Therapist Uncensored brings you decades of experience with interpersonal psychotherapy,

relational neuroscience, modern attachment, and anything else they think will be helpful in healing humans.

Now hear your co-host, Dr. Anne Kelly, and Sue Marriott.

Hey everyone, this is Anne.

And today we are so pleased to bring to you our second conversation with one of really

the most esteemed experts in attachment and child development, Dr. Alan Shroof.

Now our first conversation you can find in episode 56, though this is a standalone episode,

so don't worry if you didn't hear it before. But let me tell you why we're bringing it back.

We are so honored because Dr. Shroof is a business assimilate.

He and his team at the University of Minnesota have been assimilating decades of research,

looking at attachment throughout the entire lifespan.

We often talk about attachment through the infant perspective and through child development,

but this is how does this develop and how does this impact us through our entire life.

Now his new book collects the results of this 40-year longitudinal study,

...