It's really important to emphasize that holding your own isn't just even though the title is holding your own with difficult personality traits

Holding your own is not like I'm the victim in this dynamic right and that's why I mentioned how easy it is to get self-righteous, to get

judgmental, to get critical. Holding your own is also, what is your own attachment style?

What is your own strategy when you get upset and how much awareness do you have of it so that you stay in a relational way instead of your nervous system becoming overreactive?

So holding your own is, it takes a lot on yourself to go why am I

all of a sudden becoming critical and self-righteous over you and feeling

justified rather than going, whoa I need to calm my own system and stay relational and see what I know about you

in my history and hold you in that loving, caring, relational way.

And that's not always easy. This is holding your own, a series from Therapist Unsner that aims to deepen and broaden security when faced with challenging personalities.

Now, here are your co-host, Dr. Ann Kelly and Sue Marriott.

Hey everybody, welcome back. at the beginning of the last season we talked

about beginning to weave in a little bit more about specific traits

characteristics that are difficult.

We had several episodes on narcissism.

This one will be on borderline.

And all of this, we've been really interested in it

because of the strain that we're under in our culture and really wanting to

put a hand underneath people's capacity to be able to understand and sort out

some of these more difficult dynamics.

So even today, we aren't pointing fingers, we're not name calling, we're not saying

that narcissist over there or oh my gosh she's so borderline, we're also not diagnosing because we can't do that over the air right

but we are going to go deeply into the themes of these different

...