You know I wasn't always this person. I wasn't always the person you're listening to now.

I think a lot of us can say that. We can look at who we are

today and look into the past and remember who we were. Who I used to be was immature.

I was hurtful to people that I cared about.

Not always, I would just find ways to hurt them.

I thought that I was the greatest thing since sliced bread.

I was a little bit narcissistic, thankfully not diagnosably, so and I had a lot of growing up to do, especially in relationships.

And I think when you grow up in a dysfunctional household,

an alcoholic household, a very toxic household with people that are scary to be around.

You can develop coping mechanisms that don't work.

You can develop

dysfunctions that change the course of your life.

Remember those dysfunctions?

Remember looking to the past and remembering how you acted back then, how you acted to that person, what you said to that person, what you said to that person, what you did in that situation and then you think why didn't I do this why didn't I say that

Why didn't I change my mind? Why didn't I go in a different direction? Why did I have to end up with that person? Why do I have to end up in that job or why did I stay so long? These little maybe regrets, these thoughts that we have of how things

could have been differently or should have been differently or if we had only made a different decision.

When I think about my past, I think about all the mistakes I made,

and I think about how a lot of life was pretty good too. A lot of it was pretty good. Not everyone can say that. My life was hard. Not everyone can say my life was pretty good. Some people can say my life

was great. If I died tomorrow I lived a full life, I can say that pretty much but I'm just starting. I feel like I'm just

starting. I'm 53. I've learned so much. I've learned to get past the

dysfunctions. I've learned to grow beyond that and grow more

mature and experience life from this new

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