Trust vs. Lust

Sex With Emily

Health & Fitness, Sexuality

4.2 • 6.7K Ratings

🗓️ 13 November 2021

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Trust: it’s the glue of relationships, even the more casual ones. Can I trust that this person is safe? That they aren’t going to hurt me? Can I trust myself, that I’ll know how to navigate this situation? These are the questions we all ask ourselves, even if it’s subconscious. Our bodies and brains regularly scan for danger, but when you’re wearing rose-colored glasses, sometimes the red flags just look like flags.

So on today’s Ask Emily show, I take your questions on trust and safety, because as we know, safety is the precursor to hot sex. So what happens when you’re having mind-blowing sex with a partner, but catch them chatting with sex workers online? What happens when you’ve been love-bombed, by someone who isn’t what they seem? Or maybe you’ve had past relationship trauma, and don’t trust new partners to take it slow with you? We get into all of it. Finally: do you trust yourself to facilitate a hookup? Do you trust that you can help a partner heal from sex-negative messaging? These are the questions I’m exploring today, and trust ME: by the end, you’ll walk away with some great tools for sticky situations.

Show Notes:

Episode: First Date First Orgasm First Threesome

Find out about EMDR therapy at EMDRIA.org

Book: For Yourself By Lonnie Barbach

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Transcript

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0:00.0	And when we get ghosted and we've all been ghosted or you know we've had people disappear,
0:11.4	they say it takes half your time dating someone to get over them so this guy deserves
0:15.0	like half a day.
0:16.6	But it sounds like he's taken up a big portion of your time thinking about him and what
0:21.2	I do wrong.
0:22.2	I just think we got to move on from this.
0:26.6	You're listening to Sex with Emily.
0:28.5	I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation
0:33.4	around sex.
0:35.9	Trust.
0:36.9	It is the glue of relationships.
0:38.8	Even the more casual ones can I trust that this person is safe, that they're not going
0:42.9	to hurt me, can I trust myself that I'll know how to navigate the situation?
0:47.4	These are the questions we all ask ourselves.
0:49.7	Even if it's subconscious, our bodies and brains regularly scan for danger.
0:53.7	But when you're wearing rose colored glasses, sometimes the red flags just look like flags.
0:59.4	So on today's Ask Emily Show, I take your questions on trust and safety because we know
1:05.4	safety is the precursor to hot sex.
1:08.9	So what happens when you're having mind blowing sex with a partner but catch them chatting
1:12.3	with sex workers online?
1:13.9	Or what happens when you've been love bomb by someone who isn't what they seem?
1:18.4	Or maybe you've had past relationship trauma and don't trust new partners to take it
	...

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