Trump Tries for Heaven (Good Luck!)
Thank God I'm Atheist
TGIA Media
4.8 • 1.9K Ratings
🗓️ 24 October 2025
⏱️ 75 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Trump’s been thinking about eternity, and apparently he’s not so sure he’s getting into heaven. This week, Frank and Dan unpack the world’s most unexpected crisis of conscience as Trump ponders his afterlife prospects and MAGA faithful insist he’s still God’s chosen one.
Also this week: an atheist in South Carolina is barred from working the polls for refusing to say “so help me God,” Oklahoma schools finally ditch their Bible mandate after Ryan Walters’ departure, and a Massachusetts town drops plans for $1.7 million worth of angel statues for police and firefighters. Across the pond, a British court rules that burning a Quran is protected free speech, and the Anglican Communion faces a potential schism over appointing a woman as Archbishop.
Then, in the final segment, the guys dive into a new “children’s Bible” project, and the question of whether any version of the Bible is fit for kids. (Spoiler: probably not.)
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey everybody, buddy. |
| 0:18.0 | Hi, friends. |
| 0:20.0 | Well, from beautiful Salt Lake City, Utah, it's thank God I'm atheists, |
| 0:24.2 | where we a couple of wacky atheists just try to figure out how we're supposed to do this here, |
| 0:31.0 | life in these here United States of America. I'm Frank Feldman. And I'm Dan Beecher. And coming up on the show today, Dan, |
| 0:40.0 | we're going to be talking about a new Bible storybook for children. Um, and what I don't know |
| 0:47.3 | if you've read the Bible everybody, but it's, it's not appropriate for children. It is PG-13 at the lowest rate. |
| 0:58.0 | The best stories. |
| 1:00.1 | The most told stories are PG-13. |
| 1:03.2 | Yeah, no kidding. |
| 1:04.1 | You only get to say fuck once. |
| 1:06.0 | Right. |
| 1:07.4 | And... |
| 1:08.0 | All right. |
| 1:10.5 | You can do Sodom and Gomorrah, but you can't do David. |
| 1:15.3 | Boobes, but it has to be pretty quick. |
| 1:17.8 | Yeah, yeah. |
| 1:18.7 | You can do like side or underboob, but not full on two boobs. |
| 1:25.4 | And so that's the base level of the Bible. |
| 1:28.8 | And then it goes all the way up to NC17. |
| 1:31.9 | Yeah. |
| 1:33.7 | And honestly, stuff that normal decency laws would, uh, prohibit from being anywhere. |
... |
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