Donald took to the Rose Garden at 4 p.m.ish, you know, it's Donald, so he likes to keep people waiting in order to celebrate his made-up holiday.

But immediately, it was clear what was happening. Fittingly, looked like he was standing in front of a circus tent, which makes so much sense if you think about it, because I actually

think that was probably one of his secret ambitions. To be like the ringmaster, I don't know what

they're called. Is that what they're called in circuses? You know, the guys and the red coats and the tails

with the top hat and the whip? I think that's really what he wanted. So here he is. I mean, I know he

wants to pave the Rose Garden over, but temporarily

he turned it in to a circus, which I know he does on a daily basis, but now at least the tent

matches the theme. In his speech known as Make America Wealthy again, not a great acronym, Mawa.

Donald wanted everyone to know

that he knows.

And he was not being

overly emphatic about this.

He knows what he's doing.

God damn it.

You happen anymore.

It's not going to happen.

In a few moments, I will sign a historic executive order instituting reciprocal tariffs on countries throughout the world. Reciprocal. That means they do it

to us and we do it to them. Very simple. It can't get any simpler than that.

Well, that doesn't really work when you started it, you idiot. And by the way, I know you're

deeply proud of having learned the new word reciprocal. You might have wanted to start using it

when other countries were imposing their reciprocal tariffs on your ridiculous, unprovoked, and unilateral tariffs.

But, okay, be proud.

...