Trexel Geistman Solves Your Problems
Stellar Firma
Park Tom
5.0 • 878 Ratings
🗓️ 11 September 2020
⏱️ 32 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
By exclusive (court-)appointment, Trexel Geistman, designer extraordinaire, is here to help you, whether he wants to or not! Praise the Board in their infinite wisdom!
Content Warning for:
- Second-person delivery
- Comedic threats of violence
- Emotional abuse
- Existential dread
- Rodents
- Mentions: substance abuse, body-swapping, isolation, derealization / dissociation, cannibalism.
Special thanks to this week's Patrons: Alyssa Rozendaal, heroei, Alexandra DeCarlo, Ruu Weist, Halogen, Jill Flansburg, Peter Lukas' life insurance policy, Taka, Inna Nytochka, Meg Allen, Kamilla Kavmark, Vortex Eclipse, winnfour, Sandra Roorda, Emily, Hila SketchCat Shats, Melanie, Sebrina McCoy, Bee Elderly, Adrian Serrano, evelina, Sloane, Alex James, Kit Lines, PineapplePrincess, a creature built of gears and silver, Callie L Tomlinson, Power Loader, Carolyn McKenna, Frankie Kavakich, Knighthawk, Lex Adams, Grey Aster, Dan Hayes, Jonathan Björklund, Chaotica, Tristan Tinder, Danni Jager, Sydney Bell, Jessica Mattiace, Maya Manzonelli, lionheart091 ., Murdo Homewood, AJ Waitkus, Eliza & Gray, erlkonigin, grippingTraverse, Kyra Marie Maginity, Finn Catterall, Sonja Hansen.
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Created by Tim Meredith and Ben Meredith
Produced by Katie Seaton
Executive Producer: Alexander J Newall
Performances:
Trexel Geistman: Tim Meredith
Editing: Maddy Searle and Alexander J Newall
Music: Samuel DF Jones
Artwork: Anika Khan
This episode was sponsored by Ostium podcast. For more information about Ostium, visit https://ostiumpodcast.com/
Featured SFX: SoundMarnus, Jarred Gibb and previously credited artists via freesound.org, Original Foley by Maddy Searle.
Featured music: "Summer Smile" by Silent Partner, "No 2 Remembering Her" by Silent Partner (YouTube Audio Library)
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Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Transmission begins. |
| 0:07.0 | New science fiction podcast detected, location, planet Earth. |
| 0:12.0 | Initial probes report no human life found. |
| 0:15.0 | However, surface scans indicate that there are doors. |
| 0:19.0 | Lots and lots of doors. |
| 0:22.0 | Additional, two humans detected on planet's surface, Jake and Monica. |
| 0:28.0 | Join them as they travel through the doors of Ostium and find themselves at different places in space and time, such as the decks of the Marry-Salese, or the Red Sands of Mars. |
| 0:38.0 | Each door is numbered and can only be opened in sequence. |
| 0:42.0 | What is the significance of these locations? Can Jake and |
| 0:45.2 | Monica manage to complete them in time? Suspense detected, security intrigued. |
| 0:50.2 | Search for the Austin Podcast wherever you get your podcasts or visit |
| 0:54.8 | Austin podcast.com for more details. |
| 0:58.0 | Message ends. May the board preserve and keep you. And hello there. This is Treztzele Geistman speaking. |
| 1:27.0 | I find myself in a bit of a bit of a situation here. |
| 1:32.0 | There has been some sort of disagreement over a shuttle and who |
| 1:37.5 | owns it and who isn't and he's allowed to drive it and whether or not certain persons should have taken it for a joyride and dumped |
| 1:46.2 | it into a gas giant. But nevertheless I have been, what's the word, ordered by a court of justice that some punishment is in order and |
| 1:57.0 | so I have been selected to answer the company's advice column this cycle so consider be Trexel Geisman Agneyant or perhaps |
| 2:07.3 | Payne uncle or some sort of cousin of suffering whatever works for you got a load of suggestions here I haven't really looked through any of them, because that |
| 2:15.0 | would have implied doing some sort of planning and work, but let's have a look, shall we? |
| 2:19.6 | So this first one is from Artemis Miller, they go by they, them? |
| 2:24.2 | I've gotten into cooking as of late. |
... |
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