Trexel Geistman's Unarguable History of the Earth, Part 4 - English Civil War
Stellar Firma
Park Tom
5.0 • 878 Ratings
🗓️ 16 July 2021
⏱️ 5 minutes
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Summary
Trexel Geistman's Unarguable History of the Earth, Part 4 - English Civil War
Trexel Geistman's Unarguable History of the Earth is your one-stop shop for all the indisputable ins and outs of Earth's forgotten past. Come help us prop up the bar and drink up the education!
Today we learn about: The English Civil War.
Recorded live on location at the Astral Bar.
Content Warnings:
Mentions of: innuendo, war & death, food & alcohol
Trexel Geistman's Unarguable History of the Earth, parts 1, 2 and 3 were released exclusively on Rusty Quill's Patreon. Thank you to all our Patrons for your continued support! If you'd like to join them, be sure to visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello and welcome to another Trexel-Gaizman's unarguable history of the earth. |
| 0:13.4 | They tried to stop me, but I've got more recorder stashed around than you would believe. |
| 0:17.8 | Some in quite unsavory spaces. |
| 0:20.1 | Either way, I'm here to tell you about history of the earth, which is true I assure you. |
| 0:26.2 | The English Civil War, so called because a judge ruled the case could not be heard in a criminal |
| 0:31.0 | war, was a pivotal conflict in the development of an angry |
| 0:34.3 | damp island with more power than seems reasonable. The two factions at play were the |
| 0:39.4 | flatheads who proposed England should be run by a parliament but pretend to have a king in charge |
| 0:44.6 | so as not to annoy God, and the Phillips Heads, who proposed that England remain ruled by a divinely |
| 0:50.1 | appointed monarch, but pretend to listen to a parliament so as not to annoy the money. |
| 0:54.6 | I mean nobles, I mean the beloved people. |
| 0:57.6 | Hink Charles was the leader of the Phillips heads, so-called because he felt calling them that |
| 1:01.8 | Charles heads would look arrogant and he always had a thing for Philip the 4th of Spain since he saw him in some tight reaches. After a buildup of increasingly long parliaments, King Charles, the soon to be shorter, became enraged after a parliament became so long that it stuck out of a window and poked him in the eye as he walked past. |
| 1:19.0 | overhearing some courtiers making ruled comparisons with Harold, England's first tapestry-based monarch, |
| 1:25.0 | Charles decreed the Parliament should disband. |
| 1:28.0 | Parliament rejoined it saying that he should have looked where he was going and that he shouldn't lose |
| 1:31.8 | his head over nothing. Charles, who had been reading |
| 1:34.5 | a head like a naughty-naughty boy, thought that this comment was way out of lie given what would happen. |
| 1:39.8 | And so a state of war came between them. |
| 1:43.0 | The war was conducted largely as an incredibly violent tour of the market and spa towns across |
| 1:48.6 | England and Wales, with a terrible number of apple carts overturned, fudges smashed, and cream teas upset all over |
| 1:56.2 | the good tablecloth that we had just washed. Also a vast amount of killing. You can't forget |
... |
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