Hiya, time for a five-minute bonus episode to keep you going. Every Friday I put out a

significantly condensed version, one of the topics that I make on Patreon. So if you do enjoy

having an extra episode each week rather than only on the first of the month, then do please

head on over to patreon.com, where you can support the work that I do and hopefully get some benefit at the same time.

And not just for you, but the money you pledge goes to help a lot of folk who really need therapy but just can't afford it.

It's just one of those common correlations. The effects of an abusive childhood

can echo right the way through someone's life. Trauma leaves scars that can shape almost

everything we do and how we see ourselves. One of those traits is what we call trauma reenactment. And that can be from any

trauma, really, abusive relationships, be it with partners, bosses or assault, almost always create this

unconscious expectation that the trauma is going to happen again, which creates a need for self-protection.

Now, for some, that anxiety makes people hide away. But when they do come out of their cage and

attempt to live their life, it can almost look like some are addicted to trauma. And I know that

sounds daft. We would want to sign up for that?

But it happens. Although not everyone responds this way, but many unconsciously gravitate towards

abusive individuals, drawn in by the familiarity of it. And at first you might think,

why would our instincts lead us towards those who might harm us, given our deeper instinct to avoid danger?

One theory suggests that our instincts might drive us to repeat the original abuse to try and gain a sense of control over it, but it doesn't work, and they get trapped

in cycles of exploitation and never truly resolve their trauma. You can only heal when you feel

safe. And I want everyone to know about this, because watching a friend go from one abusive

relationship to another repeatedly can be really frustrating.

But as friends, we can be a beacon of support and trustworthiness and show them that they deserve

respect and care. We need to be a safe place for them. So that means not blaming them for putting up with being in an

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