Tranquillusionist: Punchlines
The Allusionist
Helen Zaltzman
4.7 • 3.8K Ratings
🗓️ 13 April 2020
⏱️ 5 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, in the interests of temporarily trying to stop that feeling where you think your brain is trying to claw its way out of your skull, read the punchlines to classic jokes.
This episode, including a transcript, resides at theallusionist.org/punchlines; see if you can figure out all the jokes they belong to.
Find all the Allusionist episodes - other Tranquillusionists and also ones that are actually about something - at theallusionist.org.
The original music is by Martin Austwick. Hear Martin’s songs at palebirdmusic.com or on Spotify, and he’s @martinaustwick on Twitter and Instagram.
I make two other podcasts, Veronica Mars Investigations and Answer Me This, which are mercifully unconnected to current events, if you’re seeking some escape from those.
The Allusionist's online home is theallusionist.org. Stay in touch at twitter.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow and instagram.com/allusionistshow.
Support the show: http://patreon.com/allusionist
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Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | This is the tranquilusionist, in which I Helen Zoltzman, in the interest of temporarily |
| 0:08.5 | trying to stop that feeling where you think your brain is trying to claw its way out of |
| 0:13.1 | your skull, read the bunts lines to classic jokes. |
| 0:17.5 | No setups, just the bunts lines. |
| 0:21.8 | A nervous wreck. |
| 0:32.3 | Take this and we'll see if there's any change in the morning. |
| 0:35.0 | The doctor said, put yourself together, try taking the spoon out first. |
| 0:39.2 | A walk, cliff, frostbite. |
| 0:43.5 | Not only is it awful, it's awful. |
| 0:46.6 | Too many cheaters. |
| 0:48.2 | I scream, the horse says you're at my mind, buddy. |
| 0:54.1 | Just in time for dinner at the Hickory Diggery Dog. |
| 0:57.8 | Not to cheese, mice, crispies, croaker-cola, water, shark-infested custard. |
| 1:05.9 | Bartender says, sorry, we don't serve food here. |
| 1:10.6 | To the movies. |
| 1:12.6 | A walkie talkie. |
| 1:14.0 | Sherlock Bones, mince spy. |
| 1:20.2 | Sir, you look flut. |
| 1:21.8 | The banana split. |
| 1:23.3 | There are footprints in the butter. |
| 1:24.7 | No idea. |
| 1:26.0 | Because it saw the salad dressing, just let it fall. |
... |
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