Do you ever feel like this?

I just hate myself.

How can you...

How can you sell a product that you hate?

That's me, ugly crying on a typical day.

I'm Jolenta Greenberg, a self-hating comedian that can't hold down a real job.

And this is my friend, Kristen.

I grew up in Minnesota where people have no time for belly aching.

If you want to have no shoes, someone's going to say, what about the man with no feet?

That's me, Kristen Meinser.

I have a retirement account. I think astrology is stupid.

And together, we host By the Book.

In By the Book, we try to fix our messed up life.

Speak for yourself.

Okay, we try to fix my messed up life with a different self-help book in each episode.

And I'm just here to make sure you don't go off the rails, Jolenta.

Very true.

Along the way, we follow each book religiously down to the letter,

living by their rules.

You should just drive. I'm going to do it. I'm going to manifest it.

Applying their idiotic suggestions.

Do you have to smile at her?

...