TPP 459: Bryan Post on Navigating Trauma in Parenting & the Healing Power of Love

Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Debbie Reber

Education, Kids & Family, Parenting

4.8 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 19 August 2025

⏱️ 43 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this conversation, I talk with child behavior and adoption expert Bryan Post about how trauma, stress, and fear can shape the way our kids behave—and how we respond as parents. Bryan shares powerful insights about what’s really going on beneath the surface when kids are acting out, especially in families with adopted or foster children. We dive into the difference between parenting from love versus fear, how oxytocin plays a role in connection and regulation, and what it takes to break out of reactive cycles and create a more peaceful, nurturing home. About Bryan Post Bryan Post is a leading expert in child behavior, adoption trauma, and love-based parenting. A former foster child himself, Bryan has dedicated over two decades to helping families heal through connection, compassion, and regulation. He is the founder of Fear to Love, LLC, Bondify.ai, the Post Institute for Family-Centered Therapy, and the nonprofit Leaf Wraparound. His pioneering “Fear to Love Method” and the “Stress Model” empower parents to respond to challenging behaviors with understanding rather than fear or punishment. Bryan’s approach blends neuroscience with timeless spiritual principles, particularly the teachings of Jesus, to address trauma and attachment disruptions in children. He has authored several influential books, including From Fear to Love, The Great Behavior Breakdown, and Parenting Softly, and co-authored the bestseller Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control. Through media appearances, live seminars, online trainings, and digital platforms, Bryan has impacted thousands of adoptive, foster, and biological families worldwide. His AI-powered parenting app, Bondify.ai, offers real-time, trauma-informed support, making expert guidance accessible to parents everywhere. Bryan’s central message is simple yet transformative: all behavior is communication, and true healing begins with love. Learn more at www.feartolove.com and www.bondify.ai. Things you'll learn from this episode Why understanding trauma gives parents the insight needed to respond to behavior with empathy rather than punishment How stress and fear often drive challenging behaviors, especially in neurodivergent children Why love and emotional safety are essential ingredients for healing and building strong parent-child relationships How self-regulation and simple tools like breathing help parents stay grounded and co-regulate more effectively Why unexpressed grief in children can surface as disruptive behavior and needs compassionate attention How connection, oxytocin, and community support create the foundation for lasting change—even if you're starting late in the game Resources mentioned Bryan Post’s Fear to Love website Bryan’s YouTube Channel Bryan on LinkedIn Bryan on Instagram Fear to Love on Facebook The Emotional Brain: The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life by Joseph Ledoux Dr. Herbert Benson / Benson-Henry Institute Tiffany Field / The Touch Institute ACES (Adverse Childhood Experiences) Affect Regulation and the Origin of the Self by Allan Schore Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life by Dr. Stuart Shanker Dr. Stuart Shanker on the Brain Science Behind Self-Regulation & the Impact of Stress (Tilt Parenting podcast) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	If I get my kid a phone, I'll be able to keep in touch with them all the time.
0:02.8	We'll be on it all the time.
0:04.1	He could walk to school by himself. She could see something, she shouldn't. He could chat with grandma. Friends, trolls. They can access anything on the internet. They can access anything on the internet. So, should I give my kid a phone? Growing up with phones isn't always easy. Introducing EEE safer Sims. Sims that help moderate usage and shield harmful content on any smartphone.
0:24.2	Choose EECF. Growing up with phones isn't always easy. Introducing EEE safer Sims. Sims that help moderate
0:21.4	usage and shield harmful content on any smartphone. Choose EEE safer Sims. Only on the UK's best
0:26.9	network. To verify best networks at E.e.com.uk slash claims. I'm Debbie Reber and this is full-tilt
0:34.2	parenting. I have a really powerful episode for you today as I am talking with
0:38.3	Brian Post. He's the leading expert in child behavior, adoption, trauma, and love-based parenting.
0:44.3	Brian truly brings a unique lens to this work. Not only has he spent over two decades
0:49.2	helping families navigate challenging behaviors and trauma, but he's also a former foster child himself.
0:55.5	He's the founder of Fear to Love, the Post Institute for Family Centred Therapy, and
1:00.3	Bondify.a.I. And he's impacted thousands of families around the world through his teachings,
1:05.5	his books, and his online platforms. In this conversation, Brian will share his fear to love
1:10.5	method and stress model, which
1:12.2	help parents move from reactivity to connection by understanding behavior as communication.
1:17.9	So we talk about how fear shows up in our parenting, why love and regulation are the
1:23.1	antidotes, and what it really looks like to shift from control to compassion, especially when our kids are
1:28.9	struggling. This is a really heartfelt, heart-centered conversation. It's full of insight,
1:34.5	compassion, and real tools. And a reminder, if you're listening to this and you'd rather watch it,
1:40.0	you can head over to the Full Tilt Parent parenting YouTube channel where you can subscribe to watch
1:44.7	all of my podcast conversations. Oh, and just a quick heads up before we get started. This episode
1:50.5	does include mentions of child neglect and sexual abuse. So please do what you need to do to
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