Have a seat on your porcelain throne.

It's time to talk some shit on the Powell Movement.

Welcome to the Powell Movement.

I'm your host Mike Powell, and as you're listening to this,

it's been one month since I lost my wife,

And I'm fucking broken. I mean, I spent three years caring for and feeling so bad for

Anne's while she had cancer, and now she's gone, and it's like everything has started over again,

and now I feel so bad for Keaton and I. And this grief is hard to explain. While I'm holding my shit together right now, a lot of times I really can't do this. I mean, most people have gone through grief with losing someone, but when it's your partner, who you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with, it's a completely different animal. I wake up, I turn on the Peloton bike, and then I see a big picture of Anne's in the

Peloton menu.

And then I usually start crying, and that lasts throughout my ride.

I punish myself by listening to Florence and the Machine, the dog days are over, because

for some reason, Anne's put that in an Instagram video, and whenever I heard it, it just

kind of really hit me emotionally. And I play that every morning when I get on the bike. And I cry through that and pretty much through the rest of my ride. And that's how I start my days. Then I try to eat, but I usually don't have an appetite for too much after my morning sadness. And then I try to work. And usually it doesn't go so well. I get lost in way too many Anne's rabbit

holes that I'm diving deep into and the next thing you know my head is so messed up that I can't get

anything done. I've tried therapy and so far I'm not feeling it but I'm going to try it again

when I get back from this vacation and this trip it's going to be so hard. Anne's was such an

important part of my side of the family and she loved them so much and she loved this trip, it's going to be so hard. And's was such an important part of my side of the family, and she loved them so much, and she loved this trip so much.

So much so that in one of her notebooks, she wrote that the first place that she wanted to have her ashes spread was on Rojoboth Beach in a certain spot with my whole family.

So an hour ago, I went into my urn, and I took Ange, and I put her in Tupperware

for the Flight East. As always, I'm going to be working through the pain, and this week I have a

podcast with legendary ski photographer Lee Cohen. This was the first podcast I recorded after Ange,

and I don't remember it. That could be the shock of the loss I experienced,

...