This is an ABC podcast.

When things are going wrong in our lives, there are certain platitudes that people tend to say,

which are perhaps meant to be helpful, but often aren't.

You always have those people who say, oh, it could always be worse.

Uh, great.

You know, everything happens for a reason.

That one's a personal pepieve.

Okay, but what can we be learning from this?

A helpful reframe later down the track, but not as a first response.

Oh, it's all in your attitude.

You just, you have to have hope.

You have to be a fighter.

Ooh, that last one, if you've had an illness or cared for someone who has,

you know that sentiment can be especially awful.

But these statements aren't just irritating.

They can really chip away at our sense of what is an acceptable way to feel.

If so many people are reflecting back to you these kinds of statements, you just learn it's not safe to express those feelings.

It's not okay to talk about how you're feeling sad.

And they're telling me that if I'm just positive enough, that cancer won't kill me, really?

You know, it's absolutely pathetic.

There's a term for these kinds of comments and the attitudes they push.

It's toxic positivity.

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