Good evening, everybody. Welcome to the show. Got a great show plan for you. We're going to talk about

something tonight that, whoa, I read a whole bunch of mess on, disagreed with a lot of it, thought

it was kind of problematic. This also came up on, uh, and some pop culture stuff. So we're going to talk

about toxic monogamy. Now, does not mean that monogamy is toxic.

We are talking about the toxic ways that some people do monogamy, the toxic expectations.

Some people fuse within monogamy.

Monogamy can absolutely be healthy and appropriate.

It's still the top, most popular chosen forum of relational trust and safety building,

labeling and structure and format. But there's a lot of, there's a lot of things woven within it that actually aren't healthy. And we want to always be looking at the impact, whatever decisions

we're making have on each other and also on our relationship.

And some of the things that we do that we think are healthy or expected or reasonable aren't.

And they get us into trouble.

And they become what causes problems or what makes the monogamy itself unhealthy.

It's not necessarily the structure. It's what we're doing

within it. So we're going to talk about what are some of the problematic things and what we need to

get rid of. And of course, we're doing some DMs. So if you got a DM for us questions, you got

put them in the DMs on our Lovelin on G page. We'll do that later. So let's jump on in. First thing, I've said this before on the show. Let's start by just saying it again. If you want or are in a monogamous relationship, make sure you have both sat down and talked about what does that mean? When we say we're monogamous, what are we talking about? What are we expecting? What are we doing? What are we not doing? You need to be on the same page. Far too many people have never talked about it, which means you are both operating from your own definitions, which means you're both right.

If your definition of monogamy means I can still sex and send some pictures, but I just don't actually physically meet up with them or have sex with them, then you're in the clear.

That's your definition of monogamy.

And you're doing what makes sense to you

and you're not breaking any contract because you never talked about it so you need to talk about it

you can't tell your partner that they cheated if you both have a different definition of monogamy

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