Top 10 Marriage Mistakes: Mistake #4 | Ep. 408

Awesome Marriage Podcast

Dr. Kim Kimberling

Relationships, Society & Culture, Religion & Spirituality, Christianity

4.9 • 813 Ratings

🗓️ 14 April 2020

⏱️ 29 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode Dr. Kim and Christina talk about the #4 marriage mistake Dr. Kim sees in marriages, which is always having to be right.

You've heard Dr. Kim say it before - when you win a fight with your spouse - you lose! Because your marriage loses. And if your marriage loses; where's the win in that?

Winning battles while losing the war is a marriage mistake far too many of us get trapped in when it comes to our marriages. Dr. Kim gives some great insight and direction into this issue.

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

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*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

"Someone might want the momentary feeling of knowing they 'won' a fight in their marriage but long haul, no one is winning when one spouse has 'won.'" - Christina Dodson
"Nobody wants to be around someone who thinks they're right all the time." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
"When your spouse feels like they always have to be right it makes you feel inadequate and voiceless." - Christina Dodson
"You should never feel like you are voiceless in your marriage." - Christina Dodson
"If you have a hard time apologizing, then it's likely you have a hard time being wrong." - Christina Dodson
"We need to be able to admit when we are wrong and to be able to tell our spouse when we are sorry." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
"If you are not vulnerable with anyone else in the world, work on being vulnerable with your spouse." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
"We aren't called to be right, we are called to be humble." - Christina Dodson

Transcript

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0:00.0	Today we are talking about the number four marriage mistake that Dr. Kim sees in marriages,
0:12.0	which is always having to be right. You've heard Dr. Kim say it before. When you win a fight with
0:17.0	your spouse, you lose because your marriage loses. And if your marriage loses, where is the
0:22.0	win in that? I also love how Deborah DeArmond puts it. She says if you win a fight with your spouse,
0:27.3	you're married to a loser. Again, if you're the one who is married to a loser, where is the win in that?
0:33.2	Winning battles while losing the war in marriage is a mistake that far too many of us get trapped in when it comes to our marriages.
0:39.6	Dr. Kim gives some great insight and direction into this issue in this episode.
0:44.0	We pray you find this episode helpful to you and your marriage.
0:48.8	Welcome to the Awesome Marriage Podcast, a place for honest conversations about marriage and practical advice on how to have a God-honoring awesome marriage.
0:56.9	I am your co-host, Christina Dodson.
0:58.9	On the show will be your host, Dr. Kim Kimmerling.
1:01.5	Dr. Kim is a marriage counselor and has been married for over 50 years.
1:05.5	His passion is to help you strengthen your most intimate relationship.
1:21.1	So Dr. Kim, why do some of us feel like we always have to be right?
1:25.9	You know, it's probably a number of reasons. The ones I see in counseling a lot, I think insecurity is a big deal. So you're insecure. So you have to be
1:29.5	right. That makes you feel better about yourself. You may make you feel secure. Certainly people
1:34.3	that are narcissistic would be another thing because they just write about everything. So what I try
1:39.7	to get couples to do or whoever the person is dealing with is just say, okay, what does it mean to you if you're not right? And have them begin to look inside, having them begin to look at see,
1:49.4	what's behind this feeling that I have to be right? Why do I have to do that? I know it's,
1:53.8	hopefully they know it's not being the healthiest thing for their marriage, but yet they don't
1:57.2	know how to stop it. And so sometimes it's, it's looking back. And where does that
2:01.1	come from? Is it a family of origin? Is it a decision you made growing up just for survival? Where does
	...

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