Top 10 Marriage Mistakes: Mistake #10 | Ep. 401

Awesome Marriage Podcast

Dr. Kim Kimberling

Christianity, Relationships, Society & Culture, Religion & Spirituality

4.9 • 813 Ratings

🗓️ 3 March 2020

⏱️ 37 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Today we are kicking off a new series on the podcast: Top 10 Marriage Mistakes. As most of you know, Dr. Kim has been married for 50 years and has been a Marriage Counselor for over 40 years. Over the years he has seen some central mistakes couples make that hurt their marriage. We will be breaking down the top ten.

Today is Marriage Mistake #10. Which is Temper Tantrums: Not Fighting Fair. Not fighting fair plays out in a lot of different ways. You may think you fight fair, but after listening to this it might give you some insight you didn't have before about healthy conflict resolution.

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

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*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

"I saw a quote on Facebook that said 'Placing blame in marriage is like saying your side of the ship is sinking;' we're supposed to be one in marriage and placing blame on your spouse is not you operating as one." - Christina Dodson
"You can be prone to fighting unfairly in your marriage if you saw your parents do that; we forget that our parent's marriages are our first textbooks on marriage." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
"Anytime a situation becomes 'win/lose' in your marriage, your marriage is losing." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
"When you're fighting unfairly it puts your marriage on pause; you can't move forward to connect and grow closer to each other like you should be." - Christina Dodson
"If you can only think of negative things about your spouse that should be a huge red flag." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
"What we are saying about our spouse in our heads matters so much." - Christina Dodson
"If you're unable to get out of the habit of fighting unfairly, going to see a counselor who can give you goals and accountability is hugely beneficial." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
"Getting a divorce is a lot more expensive than seeing a marriage counselor." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
"Decide with your spouse what is unhealthy about how you fight and make boundaries that you both will agree to keep." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
"Standard boundaries that a couple should have in fighting is no yelling, cussing, or insults." - Christina Dodson
"If something is important to your spouse, make it important to you." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
"If you don't forgive someone it hurts you more than them." - Dr. Kim Kimberling

Transcript

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0:00.0	today we are kicking off a new series on the podcast top 10 marriage mistakes as most of
0:12.1	you know dr kem has been married for 50 years and has been a marriage counselor for over 40 years
0:16.9	over the years he has seen some central mistakes that couples make that hurt their marriage.
0:21.9	We will be breaking down the top 10. Today is marriage mistake number 10, which is temper tantrums,
0:27.8	not fighting fair. Not fighting fair plays out in a lot of different ways. You may think that you
0:32.9	fight fair, but after listening to this today, it may give you some insight that you didn't have before
0:37.8	about healthy conflict resolution. We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
0:44.9	Welcome to the awesome marriage podcast, a place for honest conversations about marriage and
0:49.4	practical advice on how to have a God-honoring awesome marriage. I am your co-host Christina Dodson. On the show
0:55.5	will be your host, Dr. Kim Kimmerling. Dr. Kim is a marriage counselor and has been married for over
1:00.3	50 years. His passion is to help you strengthen your most intimate relationship.
1:16.9	All right, Dr. Kim, so what can temper tantrums look like in marriage?
1:19.4	What are the different ways couples fight unfairly?
1:23.8	Yeah, I've actually seen couples that their temper tantrum look like a little kid.
1:28.2	I mean, you know, when they're just not listening to anything and they're talking so loud, maybe they're not down on the floor beating their hands, you know, like little kids can do
1:32.0	and stomped their feet, but they get, you know, they're escalating their voice so loud that they
1:36.6	can't hear anything else and they're just angry like that. But I think a lot of times, I don't know,
1:42.3	passive aggressive, I think is a way that sometimes people do, not temperate, but I mean, you know, you come back and getting somebody.
1:48.8	Escalation is a big thing.
1:50.4	You're in a fight.
1:51.3	And so whoever you're talking to, your spouse is at a five.
1:54.6	So you go to a seven and they go to a nine and you go to a ten.
	...

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