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The Art of Charm

Toolbox | 3 Steps to Break Out of Small Talk and Instantly Build Rapport

The Art of Charm

http://www.TheArtOfCharm.com

Health & Fitness, Education, Business

4.711K Ratings

🗓️ 31 May 2021

⏱️ 35 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In today’s episode, we cover small talk and smart talk with AJ, Johnny, and Michael. If you want to make meaningful connections with people, you have to transition from small talk to smart talk, but what is smart talk, why is vulnerability key, and how do you know what questions to ask? What to Listen For Small Talk and Smart Talk - 0:00 How do you transition from small talk to more meaningful conversations that actually create connections? Why is vulnerability important when selling someone on an idea or solution, and how do you use vulnerability to do it? How to be vulnerable using the cave analogy - 4:30 What is the cave analogy and how can you use it to lead a conversation to a strong connection? What does it mean to move laterally and vertically in a conversation and why is it detrimental to only move in one direction? How do you know what questions to ask when making small talk? The FORD acronym for making small talk - 10:30 What four basic ideas can you use to come up with easy questions to start a conversation? What should you do if you find yourself in conversational dead ends, or if the person you’re talking to is giving you short responses? How do talk about yourself in a meaningful way - 19:05 How do you talk about yourself without coming across as boastful or arrogant? Once you connect with someone, how do you deepen that connection? If you want to make meaningful connections with people, you have to transition from small talk to smart talk. What is the difference between small and smart talk? When we think of small talk, most often it's just a way for us to pass time or fill an awkward silence. Smart talk is about asking the right questions and listening closely to what they have to say. This will help you understand their needs on a deeper level, build stronger relationships with them, and form better connections than if all you did was small talk. But without vulnerability in your interactions, there’s little chance of connecting with someone new or deepening an existing relationship. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode The Art of Charm Small Talk Cheat Sheet Eavesdropping on Happiness: Well-being is Related to Having Less Small Talk and More Substantive Conversations The Art of Charm Immersive Bootcamp Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Now in our last two toolbox episodes, we talked about how to make small talk more compelling

0:07.8

and open up a world of opportunities with anyone that you meet. Today, I'm joined by Johnny,

0:14.2

here in Las Vegas, and Michael, all the way in Vienna. We're going to break down how to take

0:19.6

small talk and turn it into meaningful conversation, or as we call it, smart talk. That's right.

0:26.0

How do we transition out of those surface-level conversations into something deeper that can create

0:32.6

that opportunity for a relationship? It's all about relationships. Where are these relationships

0:38.6

that we're talking about? We're talking about relationships that work. We're talking about

0:41.7

leadership. We're talking about sales, talking to your prospect. In all of these cases, you need

0:48.2

to be obsessed with your audience, with your prospect, in order to get the information that you

0:54.4

need in order to give them value to be able to solve their problems to offer solutions.

1:02.7

You can't do that without having an understanding of who you're talking to.

1:07.9

Now, we've been discussing this for weeks now. My favorite thing about this, and we've said it

1:14.7

before, if you're somebody who hasn't taken the reins of small talk, you find it boring,

1:20.2

or it doesn't go anywhere. That's on you, because it is an opportunity to set a foundation

1:27.4

for you to allow comfort and trust to be built and vulnerability to happen from that point.

1:35.2

Exactly. If you're struggling with small talk, we put together a cheat sheet. That's right.

1:40.2

A phone wallpaper with our conversation formula, compelling questions to use in conversation,

1:46.2

and some quick tips for you. If you'd like to learn more and get that free cheat sheet from us,

1:51.6

go to thearticharm.com slash small talk and grab that download today.

1:56.9

After we've initiated small talk, well, as Johnny said, we have to take the lead. We have to

2:02.6

take it somewhere. But there's a huge myth. And that myth is that it's binary, right, Michael?

2:09.2

Most people think that you leave small talk and you jump into the deep end and you go like,

...

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