Toni Laites - Love Island Healed My Toxic Dating Patterns

How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

Sony Music

Society & Culture

4.7 • 9.6K Ratings

🗓️ 4 March 2026

⏱️ 63 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Toni Laites made history last year as the first American to win Love Island, but her journey to the villa was anything but ordinary. Discovered in Las Vegas working as a cabana girl by the show’s creative director, Toni was persuaded to fly 6,000 miles to Mallorca. The rest, as they say, is history. But you don’t need to be a Love Island superfan to love this episode. Toni is funny, emotionally intelligent and disarmingly honest. She opens up about living with the chronic illness Ulcerative Colitis, her pattern of choosing the wrong men in the past, working through anxious attachment and the hard-won strength it takes to forgive yourself. This is a conversation about resilience, self-awareness and what it really means to back yourself - even when the odds (and the public vote) are against you. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 03:18 Vegas Sales to Villa Casting 05:36 Saying Yes to Love Island 07:21 Life Inside the Villa 08:33 Votes, Outcasts and Forgiveness 10:57 The Big Three Friendship 14:18 Health Scare and Ulcerative Colitis 28:10 Tourist In London 28:43 Toxic Dating Patterns 32:22 Pressure On Her Relationship 34:57 Fame And Social Media 37:34 Family And Attachment 44:28 Self Criticism And Hate 49:44 Plan For The Future 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: There is value in doing nothing and taking a step back and waiting for good things to come. I always say not all disabilities are visible and people don't really understand what that's like. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ 📚 WANT MORE? Olivia Attwood - on heartbreak, public scrutiny and building a successful career after Love Island. Jessel Taank - on infertility, identity and The Real Housewives of New York. 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Toni answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hello, just a quick note from me to say that we recorded this episode with the wonderful Tony Latas a few weeks ago,
0:06.0	and we have edited it slightly to reflect the latest in Tony's life.
0:11.0	I hope you enjoy the conversation.
0:13.0	I ended up getting a horrible infection in the hospital so no one could come see me.
0:17.0	Even the people working in the hospital had to come see me in like hazmat suits.
0:24.3	Month supply of the medication I was on in America was $30,000.
0:27.9	I have an iffy relationship with my father.
0:28.9	Okay, I'm sorry. And I think that is where a lot of my dating issues come from.
0:34.9	Welcome to How to Fail. And if you're're new around here then welcome. This is the
0:39.4	podcast where we dive into failure and ask each guest about three times they failed in life
0:45.5	and what they learned along the way. Before we get started on this conversation, please do remember
0:50.9	to like, follow and subscribe so that you never miss a single episode.
0:57.1	This episode is brought to you by Airbnb.
1:00.8	I'm currently planning a trip to Brittany in France for a very exciting reason because it's my dad's 80th birthday.
1:07.1	I'm sure he won't mind my sharing that with you.
1:09.5	I'm so excited to celebrate this
1:11.5	milestone. And I've been thinking about the kind of place we want to stay in and what will make
1:16.2	it easy for us all to be together. And I keep coming back to Airbnb. It just gives you so many
1:22.5	options when it comes to location and style of place. And I love that so many listings have self-check-in so you can
1:29.3	arrive, let yourself in, and instantly feel at home. Brittany just so happens to be full of
1:35.3	beautiful Airbnbs I've discovered. So I've been using the guest favorites feature to help narrow
1:40.1	things down. It's great to know that other people have also loved staying there. So I'm
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Sony Music, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Sony Music and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.