We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick. We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this

monumental reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions,

this is our legacy to you.

This is our time capsule.

This is the omnibus. Oh, You have accessed entry 1315 dot PR 2131

certificate number 17918.

Tom Thumb. Is he a little guy who lives in the walls of your house?

No, he's not a little guy.

In fact, I have done extensive testing

and there are no little guys living in the walls of my house.

Your house is borrower free.

If you put a spool of thread down,

no one takes it and makes a chair or a coffee table out of it?

No.

My old house, what we call the farm, had lots of little guys living in the walls and it was a source of constant stress for me.

Did you ever see them?

Yes and I was fighting them all the time.

I was yelling at them in the night.

They have long tails or were they little leprechons?

...