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Thirst Aid Kit

To Beard Or Not To Beard

Thirst Aid Kit

Slate Podcasts

News, Sexuality, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Entertainment News

4.92.2K Ratings

🗓️ 29 November 2018

⏱️ 72 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Almost all of us can make our own hair, but there's something about the way the Thirst Objects of this episode grow the stuff on their faces that required close and thirsty examination. This bumper episode starts with John Krasinski, who has been steadily building his thirst-worthiness (and those pecs) since he was (Slim) Jim in The Office. What is it about that beard that flicked a switch? Then we moved onto Will Smith, who transitioned from the Fresh Prince into an internet uncle, but also sometimes has the facial hair of... a zaddy? Finally, we visited Kensington Palace to ponder the allure of Prince Harry's ginger beard, and how it thoroughly seduced us into overlooking some past fuckery. THE POWER OF BEARDS, MAN. Things get *very* thirsty this ep, and that's before we even get to Fanfic Wars. Fasten your wig extra securely: the drabbles are A Lot this week. Grab a col' drank and settle in, thirst-buckets! Do you need help figuring out your next crush? Drop us a line! Leave us a message at (765) 8-THIRST (765-884-4778) with your name and what kind of crush advice you're looking for, and maybe we'll answer your question in an upcoming Thirst Sommelier.
Follow us on Twitter @ThirstAidKit. Bim is @bimadew and Nichole is @tnwhiskeywoman. Find show notes, fanfic, and more on our Tumblr. Share your drabbles with us there or email them to us at thirstaidkit@slate.com. Our music is by Tanya Morgan.  For your safety, we recommend that you avoid operating heavy machinery while listening to Thirst Aid Kit.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Come away from the sh**, Harry said, patting the sh** on the sofa.

0:06.0

He curled his sh** around me when I sh**.

0:10.3

Eyes dancing, he sh**, his sh**.

0:14.6

He grinned and sh** me back.

0:17.1

As he moved the sh**, he said, let's give them a real show.

0:23.4

I'm sorry I was muckily laughing all the time.

0:25.8

I love it. Of course you f**king love it.

0:38.9

Pineapple. Hi, Berm. How are you today? Pretty good, how are you?

0:42.5

It's my birthday month and so everything is golden this month.

0:46.3

Like nothing bad happens in November.

0:50.4

Sure. We're going to go with your perspective.

0:53.8

Thank you. Thank you for being so generous and indulgent of my nonsense.

0:59.0

But yeah, birthday. Okay, okay.

1:02.2

I mean, I have the same response to everyone every year for the last few years now.

1:06.5

If you're thinking about me for my birthday and you think, God,

1:09.1

Bimmer wishes my life so much. I have two words for you and they are Joe Malone.

1:14.2

Just head on over. My sense are BlackBerry and Bay and also the honey stuff.

1:21.2

Put that shit directly in my eyeballs. I want it.

1:24.0

So I'm just putting it out there. I'm not saying you have to.

1:26.2

I'm saying if you are capable, Joe Malone, if you're listening, send me a candle.

1:30.9

It's up to you, Joe. No, I'm very excited. One year older, which means, you know,

1:37.2

ideally one year wiser. Yes, but you are. Am I?

...

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