Hello, did you miss me?

I know you did.

So here's the thing.

I actually do keep getting fucking hotter.

Like, that's absolutely true.

And one of the great reasons that I'm back to come in and do this show is because I quite literally, I mean quite literally, wouldn't stop admiring my own body.

Not all of it, because parts of it goddamn suck.

But I legitimately... Not all of it, because parts of it goddamn suck.

But I legitimately love the way that musculature and, like, my legs look when I'm standing up and I'm doing chores and stuff.

It really does.

It feels like I've come so far, and I feel like a totally different person, and I can't go to the gym and work out.

I haven't been at the gym and worked out in well over 100 days, right?

And it's going to be so much better when I can actually get back into one, if that should ever hypothetically happen to me again,

should I live that long.

And I know, I know it's dumb and conceited to talk about this, especially when I could be showing pictures or that kind of thing. But I need to tell you where I'm at before we get into the live show and we just kind of

break everything down.

I haven't had sex in two years.

And one of those years was 2020.

So I haven't had sex in 20 fucking years. Do you understand me? I haven't had sex

for as long as I've actually been alive because I didn't have sex before 2020, but I'm

going to tell you something just a little personal about me. I saved up a bunch of money.

All right?

...