Hello everybody, I'm Jackie Shimmel, writer and creator of The Bitch Bible, and you're

charmingly obnoxious yet oddly endearing host of this sensational podcast series.

They say life is the art of drawing without an eraser.

I don't know who the fuck said that, but it seems really thought-provoking and also

really fucking stupid.

Today, it has never been more applicable.

On the canvas of my life, I took a lot of time writing this, can you tell?

My first paintstroke of love was illustrated for my first boyfriend when I was 12 years

old.

He dated me despite my braces and amidst my very upsetting denim skirt phase, and I viciously

dumped him after a magical two weeks together.

Please welcome the one that got away my first boyfriend, Austin Kerns.

Thanks for having me, Jackie.

Oh my god, why are you talking so centrally into the microphone?

Are you trying to seduce me?

It's my first radio show, so I thought I'd have a cool, smooth radio voice.

Oh my god, it's kind of rapey, but nice.

Very soothing on the air drums.

Austin, thank you for being here.

That's no problem.

I'm really excited about this.

We're going to have a great show.

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