Hi there, how are you? I am at a golf course sitting in my car in the parking lot.

My 13-year-old plays golf and so he's at the driving range and I am recording this for you.

So today we are going to talk about three ways addiction makes us feel like it is our fault.

So when we love someone suffering from addiction, we can often get into the very bad habit of blaming ourselves for their

poor behavior.

Addiction, it's manipulative and cunning and becoming educated women will ensure that we don't

fall for one of the most common lies in the addiction playbook. And that lie is if we change, they will get sober.

The truth is, we have nothing to do with their sobriety. Truly, we could leave, we could stay, we could change every single trait about ourselves,

and they would still need to decide for themselves

to commit to a sober life,

and continue to make that choice every day for the rest of their lives.

And that choice, the choice to get healthy has nothing to do with us.

Here are three common ways addiction tries to trick us into taking a blame.

Number one, passive aggressive behavior.

Giving us the silent treatment or refusing to sit down and talk to us about their hurtful behavior is passive aggressive.

This type of behavior can also look like our partners walking around, sulking, and refusing to take part in their responsibilities.

Our partner's behavior is saying,

You behave badly, so you don't deserve my attention. I will punish you by denying your needs and existence.

Usually this kind of behavior occurs after we have tried to stick up for ourselves and express our feelings.

Passive-aggressive behavior is basically an attempt to try and control us, to keep us in our place.

Addiction is trying to teach us a lesson.

And lesson is basically saying,

...