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The God Pod

Thou Shalt Not Create A Federal Database Of Pregnant Women!

The God Pod

God

Humor, Comedy, News Commentary, Satire, Satan, God, News, Montypython

4.71.2K Ratings

🗓️ 14 May 2024

⏱️ 57 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Dear Americans,

As the Almighty LORD THY GOD, I’ve watched over humanity for thousands of years. I’ve seen the evolution of societies, the rise and fall of empires, and the ebb and flow of human rights. Today, I’m frigging furious over Alabama Senator Katie Britt’s proposal for the ‘MOMS’ act, which OF COURSE she says would help moms, but in fact would create a federal database of pregnant women. And that is terrifying.

This dystopian database not only infringes on personal freedoms but paves the way for a ‘Handmaid’s Tale’ future.

Once created, anytime a woman gets pregnant, it would be one step away from Republicans forcing every pregnant woman to sign up for this database. They would be force-fed pro-life propaganda and denied all access to any information even considering the option for abortion. What’s next? GPS collar trackers to put on their necks to make sure they don’t try to flee to a state that offers abortion access? I can just hear them now, “These GPS, or GOD positioning system trackers, will keep all babies safe from baby-eating atheists.”

Set against the backdrop of a second Trump presidency, and the onslaught of Project 2025, there is no question that Republicans are viewing “The Handmaid’s Tale” not as a work of fiction, but as a guide for how to form the future.

Did this proposal set off alarm bells across the political spectrum? Was it being covered on all major news networks? I didn’t see anything about it except for what I saw online. Oh, I’m sure it was mentioned on some broadcasts, but sparingly if at all. No time for any of that while they’re busy obsessing about other things.

BUT GOD SAW IT. The mere suggestion of such a database should be driving everyone in the country who believes in personal freedom, privacy, and public health? …absolutely insane. I implore you to stand with me against this measure. Spread the word about what the Republicans are trying to do. It’s not enough for them to take away a woman’s right to choose. They will never stop reaching for more. They won’t stop until every woman has an implant that tracks their physical location at all times.

Thou shalt not create a federal database of pregnant women, for it is an affront to the sanctity of personal autonomy and the essence of human dignity.

God

https://thegodpod.substack.com/

Transcript

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0:00.0

This week on the Godpot.

0:02.0

And I'm working with the founder of the onion, who is the editor and sheet for them for 20 years.

0:07.0

Oh, no big deal. No big deal.

0:09.0

No big deal, comedy nerds.

0:11.0

His team's first headline that I just posted was

0:13.6

God demands America call itself one nation under somebody else.

0:18.0

She was the brains in this operation the whole time.

0:23.0

Yeah, she's just hiding there in the background with her giant sunglasses.

0:28.0

Behind every horrible man is a horrible woman.

0:31.0

Well, except for you, you don't have a wife. Oh sorry was that too soon after

0:34.4

Mother's thing? Why you got to say that Jesus damn.

0:37.1

R.F.K. Jr.'s campaign has severed ties with its previous VP pick.

0:43.4

Tech entrepreneur Nicole Shanahan who is reportedly not happy about the news.

0:48.2

I think you're laughing at your own article that you wrote.

0:51.3

I make myself laugh. Hi there humans, humans. Welcome to the God pod. I'm here today with my son and friend Jesus.

1:12.0

Behold, I stand at the door and knock.

1:15.0

If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into him and eat with him.

1:20.0

And he with me.

1:22.0

You will... come into him?

1:25.0

Why are you cringing like that?

1:28.0

I'm trying to inspire the people.

1:31.0

I'm sorry Jesus, this this sounds kind of funny when you say I'm going to come

...

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