This is the Sound of a Raffle
Judge John Hodgman
Jesse Thorn
4.8 • 7.9K Ratings
🗓️ 17 August 2016
⏱️ 47 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast where Baylif's Dave Shumka, |
| 0:06.4 | Graham Clark, this week, this is the sound of a raffle. |
| 0:11.4 | Stephanie files suit against her friend Sweet. |
| 0:14.9 | They are both members of a community service group that often uses raffles for fundraising. |
| 0:20.5 | Stephanie thinks members of their group should be prohibited from buying raffle tickets, |
| 0:25.8 | but Sweet has no problem with it. |
| 0:28.1 | Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can decide. |
| 0:31.6 | Please rise as Judge John enters the courtroom and presents the obscure cultural reference. |
| 0:39.3 | And at that, Judge John Hodgman stood still with raised eyebrows and stern eyes |
| 0:44.7 | that I could meet the better now that he knew the worst. |
| 0:48.4 | Then with a shrug, he resumed his walk, and for some minutes neither of us spoke, |
| 0:53.6 | but in his handsome, unmoved face, I read my fate and death warrant, |
| 1:00.8 | and with every breath I cursed my folly and my cowardice in coming to Judge John Hodgman at all. |
| 1:07.9 | Because he had been so kind to me, I had dared to look for kindness from him now, |
| 1:13.2 | because I was ruined, and he rich enough to play cricket all the summer and do nothing for the rest of the year. |
| 1:20.0 | I had factuously counted on his mercy, his sympathy, his help. |
| 1:24.8 | Dave and Graham, swear in the litigants, please. |
| 1:28.6 | Please rise and raise your right hands. |
| 1:31.1 | Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, |
| 1:34.6 | so help you God or whatever? I do. |
| 1:38.8 | Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that half the time Judge John Hodgman says raffles, |
| 1:46.6 | he actually means waffles? |
... |
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