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Minion Death Cult

Things may get nassy (preview)

Minion Death Cult

Alexander Edward

Dsa, Leftwing, Comedy, Democraticsocialism, Rightwing, News, Communism, Politics, Cringe, Socialism

4.4652 Ratings

🗓️ 26 January 2023

⏱️ 5 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The title of this episode is not just a quote from a segment but a warning to potential listeners: We classy, and we sassy, but things may get nassy

We say goodbye to Diamond by winking from the pulpit at her funeral, lamenting in all-caps that she ""DIED SUDDENLY""

Also: How hospitals are heating their buildings with wokeness

Plus: The Daily Wire tries distances itself from the m&m’s controversy with a masterful headline after being called out by the candy’s newest ad campaign

And: Nobody at my work thinks pronouns are a problem... has the world gone mad?

Finally: Embarrassingly in-depth candy chat from Alexander, and Tony experiences a patriotic prayer in a Vietnamese restaurant

Support the show for $5/month and get a weekly bonus episode of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). That's TWO bonus episodes a week.

Also get access to our entire back catalogue including BUTT FEST 2000 with Bryan Quinby; live-reads of My Antifa Lover, Rodham, and Ladies First: A MAGA Hat Romance; movie episodes like Believe, To Die For, and Loqueesha; and hundreds more.

Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult 

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This is very next comment. I'm not joking when I just said. I just opened up the comment

0:06.1

section and looked at it. I was like, cool. Okay. Very, very next comment from Mabel 58. Eminems have

0:16.9

been my favorite candy since I was a little kid. When I was a kid, they were made in my hometown.

0:21.7

My dad would sometimes bring them home when he visited the factory for his job. When I was pregnant

0:26.9

with my son, I had terrible food aversions and couldn't even look at an M&M. I was so worried my

0:32.3

tasted for them would never come back. But alas, after the birth of my bundle of joy, I was able to eat them again.

0:39.1

Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. I remember being so thankful. Now I'm completely devastated by the way

0:45.6

the company has gone woke. Why can't candy just be candy? It's so sad, but I might have to finally

0:53.1

say farewell to my favorite pastime this is written by

0:56.3

a mabel 58 perhaps to my favorite pastime perhaps someone can start a conservative candy company

1:03.6

so that we can enjoy our favorite candy without having to cave to the left. Man.

1:13.2

You know, you know,

1:13.2

Mabel should have noticed

1:14.4

that when the M&Ms

1:15.5

were trying to kill her baby

1:16.7

in her stomach,

1:18.1

that maybe they were probably evil.

1:21.7

That's like the wokenest thing

1:22.9

you can do.

1:23.9

Evil woke,

1:24.7

yeah.

1:31.5

Heartfelt, another heartfelt eulogy, our second of the night.

...

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