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My Momma Told Me

They’re Trying to Make Black People Lactose Intolerant! (with Carl Tart)

My Momma Told Me

Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts

Comedy, Society & Culture, Stand-up, Comedy Interviews

4.81.6K Ratings

🗓️ 19 August 2025

⏱️ 50 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Langston and David get together with writer and actor Carl Tart (Saturday Night Live, Grand Crew) again, this time about lactose intolerance. Yes, we lay down some facts about Black people and milk. Do all Black people get to a point where they turn lactose intolerant? David will absolutely not be okay, Langston can drink it but will have regrets, and Carl apparently has a stomach of steel. Remember people who drank milk during dinner growing up? Nasty! We also get into an Eddie Murphy conspiracy from a listener voicemail. 

SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: mymommapod@gmail.com

LEAVE US A VOICE MESSAGE AT 844-LIL-MOMS (844-545-6667)

LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX

DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg

TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en

MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/

FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman

FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This is an IHeart podcast. Robin Williams was sending you a check if he took one of your jokes, right? Yeah, that's pretty nice. Pretty cool. Which is probably more than they were getting out of them jokes anyways. Let's be honest. He wasn't stealing great people's jokes. He was stealing shitty people's jokes. You don't think they're hitting on the bank teller? You're like, you know, Robin Williams rub me that check.

0:22.6

And the bank teller knows comedy.

0:23.9

Oh, so he took your joke, he did it better.

0:25.8

Yeah.

0:26.7

It says here it's signed by Mrs. Doubtfire.

0:28.9

I don't think we cash that.

0:34.2

The government growing babies.

0:37.4

Microchips in your anise

0:39.3

All koala bears are racist

0:42.3

The ozone layer owes me money

0:47.3

Marshions invented turkey stuff

0:50.3

Y'all can't tell me nothing

0:53.3

I forgot that it was my turn to start.

0:57.5

There it is.

0:58.5

Ladies and gentlemen, little mamas and Gentiles alike.

1:01.7

Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me.

1:05.6

The podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories.

1:09.8

And you know what we're about to prove not a

1:12.1

goddamn thing nothing we're not helping you with nothing we're no help no help you want to learn

1:18.8

how to invest get the fuck out of here what come come on you asked us you want to repair your credit

1:25.1

fool our guest today has been with us. We've already

1:33.0

been talking. It's your third appearance. And a favorite of mine, a favorite of David's,

...

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