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Garrison Keillor's Podcast

There's money in dystopia but so what?

Garrison Keillor's Podcast

Prairie Home Productions

Society & Culture, Fiction, Comedy Fiction, Improv, Comedy

4.81.1K Ratings

🗓️ 29 July 2023

⏱️ 8 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

One advantage for us Christians of living in New York is that we’re a small minority just like in early A.D. living among Romans and Turks so we can’t lord it over people. We walk quietly. If schools avoid using the word “Christmas,” we understand. Children walk past, cursing like truckers. We ignore it. In places where Christians form a powerful majority, they can bully and persecute with great enthusiasm, even though our Savior instructed us in kindness and charity.I speak as an old man. Righteous intensity fades with age. We spend too much time wringing our hands over evil. I no longer read stories about What’s-His-Name. There’s nothing more to be learned about narcissism. Fascism is not that fascinating.Garrison KeillorJason Keillor, EngineerJason Keillor, Original Music

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit garrisonkeillor.substack.com/subscribe

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This episode is brought to you by Pepsi Max.

0:04.0

Christmas is great, but there's loads of ways to make it better.

0:08.0

Laksney can some chili into the gravy for some extra oomps.

0:12.0

Or be within a playlist though, you can even get your none up on the table.

0:16.0

Or just crack an open and ice-cold Pepsi Max.

0:22.0

Christmas. Better with Pepsi Max.

0:25.0

Spark your creativity with the Sims.

0:29.0

Sometimes you might feel like you're not creative when you have to go in search of your creative spark again.

0:35.0

Maybe this is catching up with creative friends, experimenting with a new look or trying out a new recipe.

0:41.0

And thanks to the Sims, inspiration is just one game and one spark away.

0:47.0

Ready to spark something? Download the Sims 4 and play for free.

0:55.0

When you achieve octogenarianism, you sell them experience of first in your life.

1:11.0

They're all used up. But last week on Wednesday, if you want to know the truth, I sat in a chair.

1:19.0

And for the first time in my entire life, my teeth were cleaned by a male hygienist.

1:27.0

It was a large moment because when you open your mouth wide and someone sticks sharp tools into it, you are no longer an adult.

1:41.0

You're a fearful four-year-old child.

1:45.0

And women hygienists know this. And they're very gentle.

1:49.0

And they speak softly and tell you exactly what they're going to do before they do it.

1:55.0

And on Wednesday, I learned that a male hygienist can be just as thoughtful and gentle as women have been.

2:05.0

He didn't work on my teeth like he was replacing spark plugs. He knew that I was human, in fact, a small child.

2:15.0

I remember the hospital where I went long ago to have a pacemaker installed in my chest and the male nurse in blue scrubs walked in and said,

2:27.0

let's go and wield me silently into the OR as if I were a load of rutabaggers.

...

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