I flew down to Florida for a few days and I regret missing the blizzard in Minnesota.

I love snow, but I'm afraid of slipping and falling and joining the Joint Replacement

Society, whereas in Florida, you'd only slip on a banana.

And I needed to walk and take long strides, which facilitates clear thinking.

What I think after a brisk walk is that Florida is a lovely place if you don't have anything

to do and you want to be with other people who don't either.

The major industry is relaxation.

The bars open at noon, people have a few screwdrivers, go home, take a two-hour nap, watch

a golf tournament, and then maybe read Instagram or hang out with Erigwana.

The air conditioning is so cold you have to wear a parkour indoors.

There's background music everywhere.

Every lobby has a television on that nobody's watching, music that nobody's listening to.

It's an environmental drug to keep people from thinking.

Northerners go to Florida to find happiness and after about 36 hours they realize that

climate does not solve their problems.

Even though it's 75 degrees, they still are themselves and that is their problem.

They feel isolated, their life is purposeless, they believe stuff they know is not true.

They don't notice this sort of thing in Minnesota because you're struggling for survival.

Your sidewalk is under deep snow drifts that you are morally obligated to shovel otherwise

you'll be a pariah in the eyes of your neighbors and they will never invite you to their potluck

again.

So you pick up your shovel and heave heavy snow, ten feet over the snow banks and then

...