There's a Better Way for Couples to Talk About Money

Modern Love

The New York Times

Storytelling, Nytimes, Nyt, Redemption, New York Times, Society & Culture, Loss, Essay, Love

4.3 • 9K Ratings

🗓️ 19 November 2025

⏱️ 43 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

According to Ramit Sethi, a personal finance author and coach, a lot of couples get stuck bickering about everyday purchases. If you’re hung up on what’s in the cart at Target, or who’s buying too many iced teas on the way to work, Sethi says you’re missing the bigger picture, and a chance to live what he calls a truly “rich life” together. Sethi is the author of “I Will Teach You To Be Rich” and “Money for Couples.” He has a podcast, also called “Money for Couples,” and was host of the Netflix show “How to Get Rich.” On this episode of Modern Love, Sethi fields questions from listeners who want to have more constructive, and less tense, money conversations. He also explains how a little curiosity and compassion can help couples through emotional processes like merging their financial lives, disclosing their debts, and mapping out their dreams for a shared future.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Love now and...
0:04.0	Did you fall in love?
0:04.8	Love was stronger than anything.
0:08.0	And I love you more than anything.
0:12.2	There's to love.
0:15.1	From the New York Times, I'm Anna Martin.
0:17.2	This is Modern Love.
0:18.7	So last week, I talked to a woman who was so tired of doing that
0:22.5	awkward dance at the end of a date. Should I pay? Did you pay? Should I pretend I want to pay? Should we
0:28.4	split it? She was so sick of that that she asked a guy who she barely knew to open a joint bank
0:35.2	account. That was a very unusual solution to a common problem.
0:41.3	Money is so hard to talk about in relationships.
0:44.3	Figuring out what to spend on, what to save for, who's in charge of making what decisions.
0:50.3	It's tricky stuff.
0:51.3	Recently, I asked you to tell me how money issues are showing up in your relationships.
0:56.1	You send us your stories.
0:57.4	Thanks for that.
0:58.4	And today, we have someone here to help.
1:01.4	You might know Ramit Satie from his Netflix show, How to Get Rich, or his podcast, Money for Couples.
1:07.6	Rameet has a lot of practical advice for couples about how to be smart with money.
1:12.6	But even before that, he has to get them talking about money without fighting or crying or shutting down.
1:19.6	And he does that by figuring out what money means to them emotionally.
	...

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